- She has a dedicated personal assistant available at all times, catering to her every whim—whether she’s awake or snoozing soundly.
- Her wardrobe consists entirely of cozy, stretchy outfits, and she gets to skip shoes or any uncomfortable shapewear.
- Nobody bats an eye when she has a little accident or lets out a loud toot; she’s like a miniature, adorable party animal.
- She can snooze away while someone else is behind the wheel, and it’s completely normal.
- She’s blissfully free from chores like laundry, dishwashing, or grocery runs.
- Naptime is a given, and it’s encouraged!
- When she’s a bit chubby, it’s seen as adorable rather than concerning.
- With no hair to manage, she saves hours that would otherwise be spent in front of the mirror—those hours are now spent on important tasks like hand-chewing and practicing her spit-up techniques.
- It’s perfectly acceptable for her to express her frustrations in public, throw tantrums, or even avoid eye contact when she’s feeling indifferent.
- She enjoys complimentary air travel around the globe for her first two years—what a perk!
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In summary, there are so many aspects of baby life that make it enviable; from having a personal assistant to enjoying carefree days filled with naps and no responsibilities, it’s hard not to feel a twinge of jealousy.