As we navigate through grocery stores, checkout lines, libraries, or just strolling down the street, well-intentioned strangers often look at us with those warm, sympathetic eyes, ready to share their advice: “Savor these moments… they fly by so fast.”
But here’s the truth: I do cherish these moments. I truly do. I was the mother rocking my newborn in the wee hours, making a conscious effort to imprint every detail in my memory—the weight of her tiny body, the delicate grip of her hand around my finger, the way her arms stretched out first. I recognize the fleeting nature of these days, and I hold dear this special season in my family’s life.
Yet, I can’t help but ponder: what about the challenging moments? What do we say about the times that aren’t filled with joy and laughter? Like this morning, when my 22-month-old threw a two-hour tantrum, and I found myself retreating to the bedroom with a stash of chocolate, trying to regain my sanity. Or that day at the store when my daughters were bickering so fiercely that they knocked over our cart, sending it crashing to the ground with their screams echoing around us.
What about those days where I feel completely overwhelmed, like during my first trimester, when I was utterly drained and faced with two demanding toddlers? In moments like these, I sometimes find myself wondering if I’ll ever truly enjoy them.
These are the moments when self-doubt creeps in—when I feel like I’m not loving them enough, not being patient enough, or when my harsh words seem to echo louder than my affection.
Here’s the thing about moments: they are constantly shifting. They glide, they rush, and sometimes they drag. Every moment happens whether we’re prepared for it or not. Some will be easier to embrace than others; some will hurt more, and some will be more precious.
To those well-meaning strangers, we’re striving hard to capture these moments because deep down, we know their advice holds truth: time does fly, and we should treasure this unique and sacred time with our families. Time has its own rhythm, speeding up when we wish it would slow down and dragging when we need it to race forward.
But let’s face it: we won’t enjoy every moment. It’s just not realistic. Motherhood is tough, and that’s a fact.
So to the weary mothers, the new ones, the overwhelmed, the sick, and the coffee-fueled warriors, let’s stop stressing about enjoying every moment. This expectation only adds to the weight of our responsibilities as mothers.
Instead, recognize this: you are already a wonderful mother. Your fierce love for your children is what truly matters.
What if we redefine the idea of enjoyment? Instead of striving to enjoy every moment, let’s lean into them, even when it feels overwhelming. Embracing those tough moments can be a powerful act of defiance, a reminder that we are not defined by our difficult days. It takes bravery to dig deep and appreciate every moment, even when some are filled with thorns.
So now, when faced with whining, bickering, and exhaustion, I’ll search for something positive to embrace in the chaos: a chocolate smudge on a cheek, the new words my little one tries out, or even the joy of her walking backward. Maybe I’ll even find humor in a day that has gone completely off the rails.
I want to live boldly and fully, even amid the exhausting years of motherhood. So the next time someone tells you to relish these moments just as you feel like you might scream, smile and say, “I will.” Then, with determination, seek out that one tiny moment to embrace, because you have the strength to let the hard days go.
For further insights on motherhood and parenting, check out this excellent resource from the CDC on pregnancy. And if you’re interested in boosting your fertility, consider exploring fertility supplements for additional support. Also, don’t forget to read more about privacy in our discussions here.
Summary
Motherhood is filled with both joyful and challenging moments. While well-meaning advice encourages us to cherish every instant, the reality is that not every moment is enjoyable. Embracing the difficult times with courage and defiance can foster resilience and strength. It’s essential to recognize that loving your children fiercely is what truly counts.