Linda Summers turned heads with her post-baby look during her first trip out for milk after 10 weeks of motherhood. The second-time mom was an amusing sight, juggling a cup of coffee while spilling some on her pants as she climbed into her car—talk about multitasking! Undeterred, she cheekily licked the coffee stain off her thigh and quickly cursed as she caught a whiff of a mysterious, unpleasant odor.
Just two months postpartum, Linda sported an ensemble reminiscent of a casual day at home: pajama jeans paired with an oversized button-up shirt, which had only a single small vomit stain. According to Linda’s representative, her stunning appearance after childbirth is purely organic. “These days, Linda mainly cries in the basement and indulges in stress-eating chicken nuggets. She also downs about three to five cups of coffee daily.”
A friend of Linda chimed in, saying, “Sure, she worries about the impact of caffeine on her breast milk, but honestly, she’s more concerned about her sanity if she skips her daily coffee fix.”
We consulted a fitness expert who humorously claimed that Linda’s post-baby body success comes from the extra weight she gained during pregnancy from indulging in soft sugar cookies while binge-watching her favorite shows. “Breastfeeding burns calories, but not that many! She should skip the fast food and get moving!” the expert quipped.
Another factor contributing to Linda’s figure is her constant battle with her toddler’s potty training regression, which involves cleaning up unexpected messes. After each cleanup session, Linda sneaks into the kitchen for a quick treat of mini Snickers—because, well, poop happens.
For those looking to emulate Linda’s success, it’s important to note that her genetics play a significant role. Hailing from sturdy German and Polish heritage, Linda embodies the notion that you can take the sausage away from the girl, but you can’t take the girl away from the sausage.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2012.
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In summary, Linda embodies the relatable chaos of postpartum life—balancing motherhood, self-care, and the occasional sweet treat with humor and grace.