My adorable little 4-year-old typically enjoys a cozy nap after preschool while watching his favorite show, Curious George. Today, however, he decided to interrupt his peaceful slumber because he wanted a change in his viewing. The catch? He had no idea what he wanted to watch instead. He yelled, “I want something else, but I don’t know what it is!” This type of logic is utterly baffling.
KIDS ARE CONFUSING.
What unfolded next was a 2-hour whirlwind of crying and tantrums that reminded me of my high school heartbreak—only this time, it was far more dramatic. When my little one finally exhausted himself, he flopped onto the couch and fell asleep, looking as carefree as a child can be.
I was left feeling a bit frazzled. In that quiet moment, I felt compelled to create a list for my own sanity. Because let’s be honest, trying to reason with a 4-year-old is an exercise in futility. They’re not concerned about logic; they’re just concerned about what they want.
As I eagerly await the day his reign of chaos concludes (bring on age 5!), here are 20 things that are easier than trying to reason with a 4-year-old:
- Shaving your legs while 9 months pregnant.
- Stealing a golden egg from a fire-breathing dragon.
- Cooking a five-course meal with a toddler on your hip.
- Handling menopause in the sweltering Florida sun.
- Figuring out the rules of curling.
- Working in PR for Sea World.
- Ruling an entire galaxy.
- Being the President of the United States.
- Shopping at Whole Foods on a tight budget.
- Piloting a plane through the Bermuda Triangle.
- Mastering Common Core Math.
- Teaching in a public school classroom.
- Living with Sheldon Cooper (knock, knock, knock… Leonard).
- Fact-checking for a late-night comedy show.
- Anal bleaching for Ron Jeremy.
- Trying to converse with my 9-year-old while he’s engrossed in Minecraft.
- Declawing Hemingway cats (they have six toes!).
- Shopping at Target and sticking to a budget.
- Douching with Brillo pads.
- Accompanying Billy Joel on the piano.
Once, I successfully talked my way out of a speeding ticket. I’ve even had reasonable discussions about politics over drinks. But I know that one day, this same wild 4-year-old will attempt to reason with me about curfews, relationships, or grades. And in those moments, I’ll remember this list. After all, payback is a dish best served cold.
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Summary:
Navigating the logic of a 4-year-old can be an uphill battle. This humorous list highlights just how many things are easier than trying to reason with a temperamental toddler. From bizarre scenarios to relatable challenges, the list serves as a light-hearted reminder for parents everywhere that sometimes, kids just don’t make sense.