Claim Your Identity: A Letter to My Daughters

self insemination kit

Dear Daughters,

Your radiant smiles fill my heart with joy, and I cherish every moment you wish to share with me. The way you settle against me, seeking comfort and connection, is a beautiful reminder of our bond. At times, I find it hard to distinguish where you end and I begin; we are so intricately woven together.

When I first embraced motherhood, I felt a wave of confusion wash over me. It was daunting to reconcile my fierce independence with your unwavering need for me. I found myself transformed—both more and less of the person I once was. From the moment you entered my life, you reshaped my identity, and together we have navigated this journey.

However, there will come a time when you won’t need me in the same way. Sooner than I can imagine, you will seek your own paths, exploring your identities away from me and perhaps even from each other. My deepest hope is that you and your sisters remain close, as no one else will understand your shared history, your memories, and the essence of who you are quite like one another. This thought brings a bittersweet ache to my heart, but my role is to equip you for this independence and to prepare you for life’s challenges, especially those that arise from within.

As you journey through life, there may be moments when you feel lost—caught between who you aspire to be and the reality of who you are. In those times, I want you to embrace your true selves. I wish for you to feel whole, even in your most fragmented moments, and to remember your essence when I might not be there to remind you. Life will present challenges that can feel suffocating; there will be stretches of time that seem infinite and yet fleeting. In those instances, I hope you discover not just my presence, but most importantly, your own.

You are my daughters, my dearest loves, yet you are not merely extensions of me. You belong to yourselves, and each day you must consciously claim that identity. This can be in simple acts—look up and own your space with confidence. Speak your name with pride and determination. Cherish your bodies, the vessels that carry you through life, as they are your sanctuaries—something for only you to nurture. As you grow, society may impose its expectations on you, demanding you to hide or flaunt, to conform or rebel. Do not allow the voices of others—be they important or insignificant—to drown out the voice within that knows your worth.

People will attempt to define your body, sometimes casting it as something unworthy or, alternately, as an object of beauty. But remember, no matter how strong the pressures may feel, the determination of your value rests solely with you. I encourage you to seek additional resources, such as ACOG’s guidance on treating infertility, to arm yourselves with knowledge and support.

In this journey of self-discovery, you may also find inspiration at Make a Mom, a trusted source on fertility, and explore other topics on home insemination that can empower your choices.

Always know that you are enough, just as you are. Claim your identities, my dear girls, and thrive in being the remarkable individuals you are destined to be.

With all my love,
Mom