Our Family is Whole… For Now

self insemination kit

Menu
Parenting

Our Family is Whole… For Now

by Jamie Fairchild
Updated: Aug. 21, 2015
Originally Published: June 13, 2012

This week, my son decided that sleep was optional. And let me tell you, I’m exhausted.

After a night with absolutely no rest, I made the questionable decision to take both of my boys to Target post-nap (and I use “nap” loosely) to take advantage of an amazing sale on baby supplies and fill some time. I figured that if we stayed home, my fatigue would kick in, and I’d probably fall asleep while they wreaked havoc around me.

However, this trip to Target turned out to be far more chaotic than I had anticipated. Honestly, I won’t bore you with all the details—it all culminated in the car ride home. That’s when I realized I had no bedtime to look forward to, thanks to my son’s newfound talent for staying up all night and mysteriously appearing next to my bed.

In the midst of my emotional breakdown, it suddenly dawned on me: I can’t have any more kids. I’m at my limit. This is it.

As a tired mom of two energetic boys, I’ve always dreamt of having more children, but the reality is, I can barely manage the ones I have. I’ll never experience that last pregnancy, knowing it’s the final chapter. I won’t have a daughter to help prepare for prom or to buy tampons for, nor will I be able to shop for a wedding dress with her. Talk about a rapid escalation of emotions.

There are days when I question whether we made a mistake by having two kids. We often feel overwhelmed and wonder if we’re doing it all wrong. On other days, I feel like we’re nailing this parenting thing and think we should have at least five more!

Then there are moments like today. After my dramatic outburst, I had an epiphany. It was as if a light bulb lit up in my mind: I don’t need to have all the answers about how many kids I want right now.

People frequently ask questions such as:

• Will you have more kids?
• When will you try for a girl?
• I can’t believe you’re not pregnant again yet.
• You’re done having kids, right?
• Are you on birth control?

I usually respond with a long-winded explanation about how we originally planned to wait longer between our first two kids, and since they’re so close in age, we intend to wait even longer for a third. Unless, of course, surprises happen because life is unpredictable. We plan to hold off until my husband finishes college or until our two little ones are off to college (or at least potty trained). We think we might want three or four kids eventually.

But today, I have a new answer for those curious souls: “We honestly have no idea, and you’ll find out when we do.”

The possibilities are endless. We may have more kids, or we may not. It’s not something that needs to be determined right now. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned in my 26 and a half years, it’s that plans rarely unfold as we anticipate. If they did, I’d be a glamorous mom with perfect children, an idyllic marriage, the baking skills of a superstar, and endless free time.

The reality is, the future is uncertain. Even if we firmly decided we wanted two more kids, life could take us in a different direction. And conversely, if we thought we were done, we might unexpectedly welcome more little ones. I don’t mind when people inquire about our future baby plans—I truly don’t. However, the truth is that we don’t have solid plans. I’m learning to embrace the uncertainty for now. It really isn’t solely up to us anyway.

While our family might not be complete yet, it certainly feels whole for now.

If you’re looking to explore more about home insemination options, check out this informative resource. For those interested in artificial insemination, CryoBaby’s at-home insemination kit is a great option to consider. Additionally, Healthline offers excellent information about pregnancy and related topics.

Summary:

Navigating parenthood can feel overwhelming, especially when sleep-deprived. This article shares a candid reflection on the uncertainties of family planning and the beauty of embracing the present moment. It invites readers to appreciate their current family dynamics while acknowledging the unpredictability of future additions.