I Am Expecting, Not Defeated, Thank You Very Much

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Hey there, world! Let me set the record straight: I am not sick, disabled, or broken. I am expecting. I am not weak, needy, or overly dependent. I am expecting. I am not incapable or inept. I AM PREGNANT.

I’m not a fragile flower or a delicate princess. I’m simply engaging in a timeless act that has been a cornerstone of humanity since the dawn of time. This condition is natural and perfectly suited for my body, much like breathing or walking. Yet, you treat me as if I’m some incapable vessel.

Pregnancy Rules: A Ridiculous List

And let’s talk about the ridiculous rules that come with pregnancy. No lunch meat—seriously, no turkey, salami, or ham. Make sure that steak is well-done! Eggs? Better be fully cooked! No cookie dough, and definitely no unpasteurized foods. Watch out for fish—raw is a big no-no. And don’t even think about stinky cheese like Brie or feta! Listeria! E-coli!

No coffee. No wine—not even a sip! Maybe one cup of coffee is okay, but two? That’s crossing the line. Why is it all so extreme? I won’t drop dead from having a couple of cups of coffee on a rough day, and neither will my baby. Honestly, a glass of wine won’t kill me either—though I might have a different issue there since I’m a recovering alcoholic.

Instead of these irrational rules like “Thou shalt not eat lunch meat for ten months,” how about we just practice moderation? Think. Balance. I know, radical ideas.

The Reality of Pregnancy

Oh, and the warnings about lifting and pushing—come on! “Don’t lift over 25 pounds”? If I followed that, I’d have to leave my toddler in a hot car because I couldn’t carry her in! That’s a solid plan, right? When she throws a tantrum, I guess I’ll just let her lay there while I apologize to passing cars for my inability to help.

And while we’re at it, I won’t be skipping housework or avoiding grocery bags. Life doesn’t stop just because I’m expecting. Sure, I won’t overexert myself, but I refuse to let pregnancy turn me into a helpless being.

Women have been doing this since the beginning of time. They’ve worked in fields, built homes, and carried heavy loads while pregnant. They didn’t just stop because they were expecting. If that were the case, nothing would ever get done!

While I understand we’ve learned a lot, at some point, caution turned into panic, and it’s absurd. Pregnant women are some of the strongest individuals on the planet. We don’t need to be managed or told what to do.

Of course, there are times when medical expertise is crucial, and I’m grateful for that. But right now, I’m doing just fine. My body, my instincts, and yes, even my logic are working perfectly well together.

I’ve birthed a 10-pound baby in a horse trough in my living room. And after that, I got up and continued to care for my family. We endure morning sickness, fatigue, and discomfort, yet we keep going.

But still, you tell me I’m weak and unaware. Luckily, you’re here to tell me how to navigate pregnancy and motherhood! You’ve tried to break me, but I am not broken. I am pregnant, and soon I will have a baby who is perfect for me—someone I know and who knows me.

I already understand how to nurture and hold that baby. My body is designed for this. You might think you know better, but she is of me. And while you continue to chatter away, I’ll be focused on my newborn, who knows the truth.

Hey, mother, glad you’re here, and you have everything you need. You certainly don’t look broken to me.

Resources for Expecting Mothers

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Summary

This article emphasizes the strength and resilience of pregnant women, challenging the stigma of fragility often associated with pregnancy. It critiques the overly cautious rules surrounding pregnancy and asserts that women have been managing pregnancy and motherhood for centuries without being treated as weak. The author celebrates the natural ability of women to carry, nurture, and give birth, while also recognizing the importance of medical support when necessary.