Relocating to a new city isn’t easy, but juggling remote work with three kids in school and one little one at home can feel downright overwhelming. Finding other four-year-olds for my youngest to play with has been a challenge that sometimes makes me question whether I should have had a fifth child just for companionship. It’s a frustrating cycle.
In my earlier parenting days, I was the epitome of an engaged mother. I meticulously organized playdates and coordinated my boys’ outfits every day. Our routine included bath toys that were actually meant for the tub, and we had a solid bath time schedule. Our days were filled with trips to the library, and I even made homemade play dough and set up jello finger painting sessions. I exhausted myself trying to cram 18 years of parenting into the first four.
One of my firmest rules was to limit screen time to a medically-approved two hours of television per day, with the occasional three-hour exception on particularly tough days (which probably happened a couple of times). I was adamant against shows like SpongeBob or the often violent Power Rangers. Don’t even get me started on Sesame Street—I was convinced it contributed to the rise of ADD and Autism. My children were only allowed to watch carefully selected programming like Barney, Baby Einstein, and the odd Disney movie, but only if it was raining.
Through all the library visits and meticulously planned playdates, I learned one crucial aspect of parenting: pace yourself.
Fast forward ten years, and here I am, finally at home with my youngest, who is just a year away from the wonder that is public school. I wish I could say she enjoys countless playdates and trips to the zoo, but honestly, I’m just too tired and too worn out to seek out other energetic mothers who still manage to bathe their kids daily.
So what do you do with the last kid? You let them watch whatever they like on TV, and keep them busy with crayons and cardboard boxes so you can get some work done. A few Cheerios scattered on the floor, a bit of water running for her to play with, and turning on Baby Bratz gives me four hours of uninterrupted work time with minimal complaints. Thanks to my smartphone, I can even queue up her next show without leaving my desk.
Of course, we still try to watch educational programs like Super Why and Daniel Tiger to ensure she’s learning letters and manners, but with just six hours of preschool a week, she’s still a bit lonely.
I’ve decided to let go of the guilt. Through some miracle, she’s picked up writing her letters and counting on her own, and she’s even teaching herself to tie her shoes. Since limiting my second child to two hours of TV didn’t prevent his Autism, I’m not overly worried about her brain turning to mush.
Sometimes as mothers, we have to adapt to our circumstances. When I was four, I spent my days at my dad’s real estate office while my mom worked. There were no iPads or DVDs—just me and a bunch of old filing cabinets. It was the worst year of my life until my dad bought a VCR and a single video that I watched repeatedly. I can still recite every line from Charlotte’s Web.
I’m finished feeling bad that my youngest has to spend a year at home without a sibling to play with. I can’t be her constant playmate, and I’m tired of the pressure to engage in educational games all day. My days of intense learning activities are behind me.
If she wants me to watch her dolls during their nap time, that’s fine. Otherwise, let’s see if we can pick up a little Spanish from Dora today, shall we?
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Summary
In this light-hearted reflection, Jamie Thompson shares her transition from a hands-on mom to a more relaxed approach with her youngest child. Emphasizing the need for balance, she recounts how her parenting style has evolved, allowing for increased screen time and self-directed learning. Through humor and honesty, she illustrates the realities of parenting in today’s busy world.