Parenting
Updated: Aug. 18, 2014
Originally Published: Aug. 14, 2012
Yesterday morning, I set my alarm for 6 AM, yearning for a precious hour of solitude before my kids woke up. (Let’s be honest, though—when you have a newborn, it feels like you’re always on duty, even at 4:45 AM when she needed to nurse). After putting her back down at 5, I felt a surprising surge of energy. It was the first time in ages that my little one had slept a solid SIX POINT SEVEN FIVE HOURS! Praise be! I had every intention of enjoying that time—sipping hot coffee, blogging, running, or even taking a shower—before my husband would need my help with the kids at seven.
But instead of savoring those precious moments of freedom, I did exactly what I had promised myself I wouldn’t do when I turned off the light the night before. I pulled the curtains tighter, snuggled back under the warm covers, and drifted off again.
As I slipped away into a peaceful slumber, I made a promise to myself: I would wake up without the guilt of feeling lazy or unproductive, especially about the baby weight I irrationally thought should vanish overnight. Instead, I would treat myself with the same kindness I would extend to a friend in my situation.
I would say to my friend, “Are you kidding? You lost all the weight after your first pregnancy, and you’ll do it again! Just don’t expect it to happen in a week. Give yourself some grace—you have a SEVEN WEEK OLD BABY!”
I would remind her, “Sure, it’s great that your baby slept well for one night, but one night of good sleep doesn’t make up for weeks of sleepless nights.”
And I would tell her, “You’re juggling a lot right now. It’s perfectly okay if your blog isn’t up to date.”
I might add, “Let’s be real. You’ve always nursed that same cup of coffee all morning—even before you had kids! The dream of enjoying a hot cup of coffee has always been just that—a dream.”
So when I finally got up around 7 AM, I felt refreshed. I wasn’t exactly bursting with enthusiasm for the day, but I reminded myself that I wouldn’t judge a friend for turning off her alarm after a long night of baby duty.
We all know the Golden Rule: Treat others as you want to be treated. But why is it often tougher to extend that kindness to ourselves? Here’s my twist on that rule: Treat yourself as you would treat others. I pledge to be more mindful of that.
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Summary
This piece emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, especially for new parents. It highlights the tendency to be harder on ourselves compared to others and encourages adopting a more forgiving attitude. The author uses personal anecdotes to illustrate the challenges of parenting while reminding readers that it’s perfectly acceptable to take a moment for self-care.