- You find that your personal space has been completely invaded, often by a tiny foot landing on your chest unexpectedly.
- Enjoying breakfast is a challenge when a slipper is suddenly thrust into your face.
- An email with the subject line “Head Lice” makes you pause mid-bite.
- You hear statements like, “I wish I had a trunk like an elephant,” and they start to feel perfectly normal.
- You also find yourself explaining why “you shouldn’t put things in your butt, it’s a rule.”
- An Exersaucer has claimed a permanent spot in your living room.
- You walk in to find your three-year-old stuck in the Exersaucer, yelling, “Help, I’m trapped on a cliff!” while a baby wails in the background.
- You wake up to a conversation happening as you sleep, likely about dinosaurs or snacks.
- You’re engaged in dialogue while brushing your teeth, often discussing the merits of superheroes.
- Someone is chatting with you while you’re in the bathroom, demanding a round of hide and seek.
- You lie in bed with your eyes shut, determined to stay that way while tiny feet stomp on you and the question “Mommy, did it tick yet?” echoes in your ears.
- The last time you enjoyed a warm cup of tea or coffee feels like a distant memory.
- You never actually finish that cup, it’s just another thing left behind.
- Your bathroom floor resembles a toy store with random items like a high-heeled shoe, an egg beater, and a swim board scattered about.
- You feel a wave of nostalgia when you spot that high-heeled shoe.
- Planning a trip to IKEA with your partner to pick out a new mattress seems like a romantic outing.
- You pull out your high heels for the first time in ages, only to find a Charlie Brown sticker dangling from your new faux fur vest.
- If you wake up at 7:20 AM, you feel like the luckiest person alive.
- You can’t name a tune by popular artists like Florence and the Machine, but the catchy Exersaucer songs are stuck in your brain.
- Losing your child’s favorite teddy bear feels like facing a nuclear meltdown.
- Your heart races when you see a garbage truck, and you might even cheer.
- You catch yourself correcting your grammar, trying to avoid words like “fighted” and “eated.”
- Midday treats are a thing of the past; if you must indulge in chocolate cake, you’ll do it in secret like a stealthy criminal.
- Phone calls with friends sound like this: “Hey there! (Yes, little one, I’m making your hot chocolate. Warm chocolate, I promise.) Yes, I’m listening, go ahead. (Yes, please don’t climb that, you’re going to fall!) Sorry, what were you saying?”
- As you head to the kitchen, you step on a toy that either lights up, plays music, or shouts “caterpillar power!” You know you’ll be tripping over it again soon but put it back in its place anyway.
This article was originally published on October 31, 2012. For more on home insemination, check out this helpful resource, or visit Make A Mom for top-notch home insemination kits. For further guidance on pregnancy, the CDC offers excellent resources.
Summary:
Being a parent to a toddler is a whirlwind of chaos and joy, filled with unexpected moments and quirky statements. From stepping on tiny feet to navigating conversations while multitasking, the experience is both challenging and rewarding.