It seems I’m not alone in receiving less-than-flattering artwork from my little ones. Honestly, it’s a miracle we mothers maintain even a hint of self-esteem with the way our children portray us! “I drove my mommy straight to the crazy house!” they might say. What have you done today?
Breastfeeding can feel like being herded like cattle, and apparently, we resemble them too.
“Psst… Mom, you might want to adjust your shirt. Your, um, assets are a bit lopsided.”
And just to clarify, “No, Mommy didn’t just engage in some wild activities with Daddy; she’s just feeling a bit under the weather.” If I looked like that, I’d be crying too!
“So what if they give me zits? I deserve a muffin, darn it!”
“Is it a transvestite? A cat? Nope, it’s MOM!”
Of course, Mommy is a little upset. Daddy is snoozing in the corner again.
“Caleb, you’re wise beyond your years. Could you help Mom out with a little wine?”
“Hey, Mom, no offense, but maybe it’s time to handle that bikini wax situation…”
“Shush, sweetie. You’re the reason I need that wine in the first place.”
“It’s not a tumor! No need to look so terrified!”
This article first appeared on November 16, 2012.
For more laughter and relatable stories from the parenting trenches, check out our other blog posts like this one. And if you’re curious about the ins and outs of home insemination, Make a Mom has a fantastic resource for you. Also, Parents provides excellent insights into the IVF process.
In summary, motherhood is a rollercoaster filled with ups and downs, not to mention some hilariously unflattering moments. Embracing these quirks can help us navigate the wild journey of parenting.