Parenting
By Jenna Hartfield
Updated: Aug. 22, 2015
Originally Published: November 18, 2012
Have you ever found yourself in an utterly bizarre situation that left you dumbfounded? You know, those moments when everything feels out of place and you’re just stuck there, staring in disbelief, even if it feels awkward or embarrassing?
I should’ve seen it coming. On a brisk autumn day with winds gusting over 20mph, I should have known better than to take my son to the lakeside park. But he was excited about it, and I couldn’t find a valid reason to decline—other than my sheer reluctance.
Upon arrival, it quickly became apparent that I had grossly misjudged the chill from the wind. Almost immediately, we came across two women, probably in their late 30s, who clearly missed the memo about dressing for the weather; they were decked out in their snug yoga outfits (maybe they were in their mid-40s, who knows). With their flawless makeup, trendy workout gear, and an air of confidence that was almost suffocating, they were the epitome of everything that irritated me.
“Please don’t try to chat me up, ladies. We are not on the same wavelength,” I thought, as I maneuvered to the far side of the playground, sporting my best unimpressed expression.
Yet, I couldn’t help but gawk at them. I had never witnessed adults so unabashedly relaxed while engaged in such an odd scenario. One of them, Yoga Pants #1, stood next to her stroller, shoveling snacks to her invisible baby while chatting with Yoga Pants #2, all the while “keeping an eye” on their preschoolers from a distance. It seemed utterly reasonable—minus the ridiculous outfits and imaginary child.
Then, the unexpected happened.
They picked up the giant dumbbells.
Of course! What better place to work out than a public park while ignoring your kids, who were off causing chaos? The scene that unfolded was a direct contradiction to what anyone would deem appropriate behavior in such a setting, not to mention a blatant disregard for their children, who were being downright disrespectful to my son.
Let’s be real: kids can be a handful. The most annoying kid is always the one that isn’t yours. I totally understand that passerby might think my kid is the most bothersome on the playground. To which I would firmly respond, “You’re mistaken.”
I have one fundamental rule for my son’s playtime: don’t be a jerk.
And there he was—this kid, the ultimate playground nuisance. He walked up the slide, blocked my child from going down, and even screamed in his face while physically obstructing him. I stood there, glaring at that little troublemaker, biting my tongue while I sternly encouraged, “Let’s all be nice and take turns,” and under my breath, I whispered to my son, “Show him who’s boss.”
An intense stare-down ensued, and I think it’s safe to say that the little brat won.
Then, Yoga Pants #2 strolled over. “Is my kid being mean?” she asked.
“Which one is yours?” I replied.
“The one in the green coat.”
“Yes,” I confirmed.
“Is he not being nice?” she chirped in that annoying sing-song tone.
“Indeed, your child is not being nice,” I said with a hint of sarcasm.
And then she just walked away, back to her dumbbell workout, blissfully unaware. “You look ridiculous, and by the way, your kid just flipped you off.”
Maybe I was just jealous of her toned physique? Perhaps I was feeling lonely and in need of friends? Or maybe I needed to don some makeup and a fitted outfit to feel better about myself? Maybe I should bring a dumbbell to the park and launch it at the rude kid while working on my core strength?
I could already feel my confidence tightening.
Just a friendly reminder: don’t mess with my kids.
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In summary, navigating the playground can be challenging when faced with rude children and oblivious parents. It’s essential to maintain your composure and advocate for your child’s right to enjoy their playtime without interference.