7 Ways College Football Mirrors Parenting

As a mom who adores college football, there’s a lot I can tell you about my tribe. During September through November, we’re not interested in pumpkin spice lattes; our hearts beat for touchdowns and tailgates. After a particularly intense game last weekend, I realized that raising kids shares a surprising number of similarities with the thrills and challenges of college football. From the strategies to the penalties, and the wild celebrations to the heart-wrenching losses, the parallels are undeniable. Here are seven ways they connect:

1. Encroachment

Ah, the joys of attachment parenting! I loved having my kids close, but after four of them, I craved my personal space back. Those early years of cuddles are fond memories, but now that my boys tower over me, I find myself wishing for a little distance. Please, teenage son who just consumed a family-sized pizza, don’t invade my bubble.

2. Hands to the Face

I once cherished those quiet moments with my baby gazing up at me, their tiny hands touching my face gently. But now that my boys are older, that innocent touch has turned into pokes and prods with sticky fingers. I’d rather not have my face treated like a toy—unless one of them decides to pursue a career in makeup artistry; then they can have free reign!

3. Unnecessary Roughness

With four sons, my household is a constant penalty zone. Our home is a whirlwind of broken items, and we seem to be on a first-name basis with the local urgent care. It’s a daily contest to see who will sport the latest bump or bruise. Need help with your concussion research? Just come on over; we’ve got plenty of experience!

4. Overtime

Parenting is the ultimate game of overtime. Just when you think you’ve clocked out for the night, something interrupts the peace—a newborn waking up right after being put down or a late-night stomach bug. Just when you think you can breathe, parenting says, “Not so fast!”

5. The Upset

You’re in the groove, and everything seems perfect—clean house, happy kids, even date night with your partner. But all it takes is one burnt meal, and suddenly chaos ensues. It’s a swift descent from “Mom of the Year” to “What just happened?” Time to prep for next week’s challenge and redeem yourself!

6. Defensive Strategies

In the beginning, it’s just you and your husband, and your first baby is so easy to manage. But as your family grows, your defensive strategy shifts. The transition from a simple two-person coverage to a full-on zone defense with multiple kids can feel like a full-on football game. Now, I’m just trying to survive with my “prevent defense”—keep them fed and safe while I catch my breath!

7. Hail Mary

When the chips are down, and you’re backed up into a corner, it’s time to unleash your own Hail Mary. Call up your girlfriends, plan a much-needed night out, and just wing it. Sometimes, the best play in the huddle is “Girls Night Out, 7 p.m.” because every mom deserves a break!

In conclusion, while the world of college football may seem distant from parenting, the challenges and thrills share a remarkable resemblance. From strategic defensive plays to moments of sheer chaos, both require resilience, creativity, and a sense of humor.

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