I’ve always enjoyed a lively gathering. My college days are filled with a haze of keg parties, vibrant shots, late-night Taco Bell runs, and occasionally dragging myself to class in my pajamas, nursing a hangover.
Now, at the age of 35, I can hardly recall when I last had a wild night out. If I want to socialize beyond children’s birthday parties or those cringe-worthy product-pushing events, my options are pretty limited. I can either brave a dance club, feeling somewhat cute until I step inside and realize it’s flooded with 21-year-olds with perky bodies, making me feel like a relic, or I can opt for a calm bar where everyone sips martinis under dim lights, resembling off-duty professionals.
Neither of these options quite fits my needs. While I love dancing, I find myself feeling like “that person” at clubs—an aging wannabe trying to recapture her youth. And while a sophisticated cocktail and mellow atmosphere have their appeal, sometimes I just want to let loose and dance to a great beat.
Navigating the social scene in my thirties can be awkward. We don’t fit comfortably in a club filled with teens who were in elementary school while we were navigating high school, yet we’re also not quite ready to settle for soft jazz and overpriced drinks. Isn’t it ironic?
The solution seems simple: we need a venue dedicated to those in their thirties. A place with a dance floor, free from the youthful crowd, where ’90s hits play often—because who wouldn’t want to bust a move to Sir Mix-a-Lot? The venue could open at 7 PM, allowing time for dinner first, since we’ve learned that drinking on an empty stomach is no longer a good idea. Closing time would be 1 AM; let’s face it, we have responsibilities the next day and can’t sleep off a night of indulgence like we used to.
This venue would feature enticing two-for-one drink specials, recognizing that adulting comes with real bills to pay—like that mortgage or the sitter’s hefty fee. It would have a cozy area to retreat to when the music gets too loud (and by “too loud,” I mean anything that might lead to a headache). Picture bathroom attendants stocked with ibuprofen, hand sanitizer, and Tums. Maybe even an on-site massage therapist for those of us who might pull a muscle trying to dance. A complimentary shuttle service would be essential, because we’ve matured enough to understand that the least intoxicated friend is not always the best choice for a ride home.
This would be an amazing space where we could revel in life with the same energy as our younger years while also demonstrating the wisdom that comes with being in our thirties. No longer would we feel uncool for knowing our limits or for heading home before the clock strikes midnight.
I need a place where I can rap “Shoop” in full without receiving disapproving looks from those who were still in diapers when it was released.
Let’s make this dream a reality. The first round is on me!
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Summary
This article discusses the unique social needs of thirtysomethings who often feel out of place in typical nightlife settings. The author envisions a dedicated venue for this age group, combining elements of fun and responsibility, allowing them to enjoy vibrant nights without the discomfort of feeling too old or out of touch.