When you have multiple kids, it’s not uncommon to experience mixed feelings about your affection for each of them. Society tells us that parents shouldn’t have favorites, and it’s a taboo topic that most moms shy away from discussing. The accepted narrative is to claim that all children are loved equally, or perhaps that the love is equal but expressed differently. But let’s be honest, in the privacy of our minds, we might have a favorite at any given moment.
In our family of six, ranging from toddlers to teens, my favorite child tends to be the one who is the least whiny, demanding, or clingy at that particular time. It could be my daughter who, out of the blue, wipes her baby sister’s nose without my prompting. Or maybe it’s my son, charming me with his long eyelashes as he asks for a cuddle. Then there are times when my teenager finally breaks away from her usual aloofness to share a funny story—just when I start to think she’s forgotten I exist!
However, this favoritism is as fleeting as it is whimsical. The same daughter who was so sweet a moment ago could quickly turn into a giggling troublemaker, while my charming son might blurt out something unflattering about my breath during our snuggle time. Just minutes after a warm moment, I might find myself asking my teenager to pick up her backpack, only to be met with eye rolls and scoffs. In those moments, it’s hard to maintain that favorite status.
Despite my deep love for each of them, I also cherish peace and tranquility. I relish those moments of effortless harmony, where I’m not acting as a referee, and where they show unexpected thoughtfulness. I’ll take the child who calls out “Mom” just once over the one who feels the need to say my name before every sentence. I mean, come on, kid, I’m right here!
So, I’ve come to embrace the concept of the “Five Minute Golden Child Award.” This honorary title is bestowed upon whichever child is making my day easier at that moment. It’s a fun, albeit temporary, recognition that keeps sibling rivalry at bay, as they remain blissfully unaware of their shifting status. When one of them sweetly asks, “Am I your favorite, Mom?” I can truthfully respond, “Not right now, but you still have time!”
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In summary, while we may not openly admit to having favorites, the reality is that our feelings can shift as quickly as our children’s moods. Embracing this playful favoritism can make parenting a little lighter and a lot more enjoyable.