The moment you welcome a baby boy into your life, a thought crosses your mind: when will he leave for another woman? Yes, even though he’ll insist you’re the only girl for him throughout his toddler years, deep down you know the truth. One day, he’ll find a partner, and you’re convinced she’ll resent your undeniable awesomeness. After all, while women might claim they love mama’s boys, they typically aren’t interested in sharing their space with mom.
My husband has repeatedly urged me to loosen the apron strings, but I refuse to budge. I plan to keep that connection strong for as long as possible. I mean, how long will he tell me he loves me before heading out the door, hug me in front of his buddies, or request a cozy snuggle at night? Who knows? But it won’t be my decision to end it.
Even if he’s 40 and still wants me to scratch his back at night, I’ll just be thinking, “Move over, Jessica,” or whatever name belongs to the woman who dares to take my place.
Let’s face it: he may be just five now, but before we know it, he’ll be driving, heading off to college, and eventually marrying someone who’ll insist he move closer to her mother. Before we know it, he’ll be a father, and during the holidays, we’ll be on the receiving end of a canceled visit through his “lovely” wife. Sure, he might try to make up for it with a gift basket filled with our favorite snacks, but really, who wants bruised pears when our hearts are aching?
To prevent this heartbreaking scenario, we need to take action now. We must ensure those future daughters-in-law know what’s expected of them. Enter the Mother-in-Law Pact, a humorous contract that they’ll have to sign in addition to their prenup. Just like agreeing to WiFi terms at a coffee shop, they’ll be on the hook for our conditions.
Here’s how it goes:
- I will praise my mother-in-law’s (MIL’s) culinary skills, her home decor, and, most importantly, the incredible job she did raising her son.
- I will marvel at my MIL’s timeless beauty and radiant skin every time I see her.
- I will recognize that my husband is on loan to me so we can have children who will likely inherit her charming traits. I’ll make sure to frequently mention this in conversation.
- I’ll remind my husband to call his mom daily with lines like, “Have you told your mother you love her today? You really should; she’s amazing.”
- I’ll casually drop phrases like:
- “That wonderful woman raised you; you should express your gratitude… again.”
- “You can never thank her enough.”
- “Let’s visit her to show our appreciation.”
- “We should bring her a little something when we go.”
- “She deserves all the gifts.”
- “Let’s take her on holiday with us.”
- “And of course, she needs another gift.”
- “Perhaps a lovely locket with pictures of you and our kids. No, I don’t need to be in them; she didn’t raise me, after all.”
- I will assure other women that their mothers-in-law don’t hold a candle to mine and will defend this claim vigorously if challenged.
- I will accompany my MIL to her weekly hair appointments and shopping excursions when necessary.
- I’ll spend all holidays with my husband’s family because they are so generous and wonderful, especially in comparison to my own.
And finally:
- I will relocate to be near my MIL, regardless of whether she chooses to retire in a sunny Florida community, a nudist colony in Arizona, or decides to go on an adventure in Alaska. Her wisdom is sure to guide us wherever she settles!
Oh, and I’ll gladly welcome her to live with us when she ages and may not remember my name.
There you have it! You can print this for future use, ensuring that you won’t lose your sweet boy to the whims of another. You’re welcome!
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Summary:
The Mother-in-Law Pact humorously outlines the expectations for future daughters-in-law of mothers with sons. It emphasizes the importance of maintaining strong family ties and ensuring respect and appreciation for the mother-in-law. The article playfully addresses the fears of losing a son to another woman while encouraging a cooperative family dynamic through light-hearted agreements.