As I reminisce about my childhood, I can’t help but think that one of three things occurred during those years. Either (A) it was a blissful experience, (B) the numerous hair products I used caused some serious brain fog, or (C) my parents navigated the tumult of parenting with far more poise than I seem to manage.
This realization hit me during one of those classic mom meltdowns. You know the kind:
- I enter the house.
- My 6-year-old bombards me with a rapid-fire request: “What’s for dinner? Can we have mac and cheese? By the way, you forgot to send in money for the class winter celebration. Oh, and Riley took my Rainbow Loom. I want it back! Can I go to Maisie’s house tomorrow?”
- My 10-year-old chimes in, “I hate mac and cheese! Can we have chicken instead? That’s my Rainbow Loom, not hers, but she punched me anyway! Oh, and I forgot to tell you that I need poster board for my project tomorrow.”
- My husband casually mentions he has a last-minute meeting and will be leaving in 15 minutes.
Before I know it, the kids are at each other’s throats, I’m overwhelmed and shouting, and my husband is frustrated with me for raising my voice. Looking back, I can’t recall my parents ever being this frazzled. They both worked full-time but still managed to raise us without the conveniences of modern technology. I didn’t text them for a ride home; I simply waited outside wherever they said they’d pick me up. Dinners were family affairs, and shopping for clothes involved actual trips to stores. It was tedious, but we didn’t have phones to distract us during those long waits.
So why do I feel like a hot mess? With so many modern conveniences at my disposal, why am I still so stressed out? And what impressions will my children carry into their futures? Will they remember the times I broke down in tears, overwhelmed and frustrated? Will they recall my honest explanations about the challenges of motherhood? Or will they cherish the moments of joy, like my ability to cuddle them into a safe space, or the laughter we share?
Will my daughter look back on the time I woke up early just to watch the royal wedding with her? Will she remember how I officiated a wedding for her Barbies, complete with a bridal shower? What about my silly pranks on April Fool’s Day? Will my son remember the thrill in his eyes when I introduced him to Nirvana for the first time? How I cheered at every baseball game, even in the sweltering July heat? Or the way I held his hand as we jumped into the ocean for snorkeling, pulling him back to the boat when he grew too tired to swim?
I may never achieve the calm, graceful parenting style I yearn for. I can’t shield my children from witnessing my struggles, but I’m determined to create a childhood filled with joyful memories. I hope those are the lasting impressions they carry with them. Just in case, I have a stash of hair products ready for their teenage years.
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Summary
Parenting can be chaotic, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the constant demands of children and family life. Reflecting on my own upbringing, I often wonder how my parents managed without the modern conveniences we have today. While I may struggle with stress and chaos, I aim to fill my children’s memories with laughter and love, hoping they remember the joyful moments rather than the tough times.