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A Letter to My Beloved Children About a Controversial Film
Dear Sweet Ones,
Tonight, I gave in to the pressure of my friends and went to see a film called Fifty Shades of Grey. I should have listened to that little voice in my head urging me to decline. After all, it’s just a movie, right? But now I find myself grateful for the experience, as it has given me an important message to share with you.
One day, you may find yourselves curious enough to watch movies like this, either because you’re older or perhaps even out of sheer curiosity before you should be. I have to accept that at some point, your innocent minds will encounter this type of content. So, I’m writing this letter to help you see Fifty Shades of Grey for what it truly is, rather than what it pretends to be.
What This Movie Is Not
First and foremost, let me clarify what this movie is not.
It is not a love story. While it may appear to be one, love plays no genuine role in its narrative. It is certainly not a sweet, romantic fairy tale with a hint of naughtiness. In fact, genuine romance is completely absent. The film presents a scenario where a wealthy, attractive man uses his influence to seduce and manipulate a naïve young woman into doing things that make her uncomfortable.
They are not equals. There is no partnership to speak of. Instead, this film revolves around a self-absorbed man’s controlling and harmful sexual desires, portraying an entitlement to exploit a vulnerable young woman for his own pleasure. This is not a relationship; it’s a toxic dynamic where only one person’s needs matter, and her discomfort is ignored.
As I sat in the cinema surrounded by women who seemed to embrace this so-called ‘sexy love story,’ I felt a wave of sadness. If an entire theater of women could overlook the damaging elements of this plot, how could young girls and boys possibly understand the risks?
My dear daughters, please don’t let the romanticization of this abusive behavior lead you to believe that you should ever accept treatment like Anastasia Steele. And my son, never think that it’s acceptable to intimidate or manipulate a woman like the character Christian Grey. No one deserves to be disrespected or violated, regardless of gender.
The Importance of Consent and Respect
When you grow up and enter relationships, I hope you realize that intimacy should always be enjoyable for both partners. Consent must be clear and freely given; anything less is not consent at all. Demand respect and be sure to give respect in return.
As I left the theater, I felt frightened for your future. If this is the standard for love and romance that you encounter, I need to set some things straight.
If a person shows up unannounced at your workplace and acts possessively, that’s not romance; it’s unsettling. If someone disregards your boundaries and forces intimacy upon you, that’s not love; it’s assault. Being monitored or controlled under the guise of protection is not caring; it’s stalking.
If someone violates your space or your consent, it isn’t passion; it’s abuse. If gifts come with strings attached or if someone threatens you, that’s manipulation, not love.
My dear children, this film is troubling and I worry that you will grow up confusing such toxic behaviors for normal relationship dynamics.
Please remember: true love is gentle. It does not take, demand, or pressure. Love waits for consent and thrives on mutual respect. When love is present, there is no frantic voice in your head screaming for help—it simply doesn’t have to be there.
If you ever doubt my words, listen to that little voice inside you.
With all my love,
Mum
Further Reading
For more insights on relationships and parenting, you can check out this helpful resource or learn about home insemination techniques. For further reading, I recommend this excellent blog on pregnancy.
Summary
A mother reflects on the problematic themes presented in the film Fifty Shades of Grey, warning her children about the misconceptions it can create about love, respect, and consent. She emphasizes the importance of healthy relationships built on mutual respect and clear consent, while encouraging her children to listen to their instincts.