You may not be the biggest fan of kids, but here you are, spending a weekend with your friends’ little ones. You remember the days when they were tiny and easy to handle, but now they’re running around, talking back, and being, well, kids. If you don’t have any of your own, the prospect of hanging out with kids can seem daunting. Worry not! This guide will equip you with everything you need to survive a weekend with children. Let’s dive in:
1. Kids Aren’t Always the Brightest
Forget what parents say about their kids being geniuses; they’re just tired and exaggerating. Think of a hyper dog that won’t stop jumping around—kids can be even more unpredictable. My three-year-old still struggles with a straw—yes, a straw! Keep your hot beverages out of reach and skip anything sharp. Once you accept this reality, everything else will fall into place.
2. Let Kids Approach You
So your best friend is now a parent, and you want to be the cool aunt or uncle. But kids don’t care about your past heroics like saving their parent from choking at a party. They tend to shy away from overly enthusiastic adults. If you’re trying to avoid them, that’s a mistake too. Kids have a radar for people who don’t want to engage. Instead, strike a balance: show interest without overwhelming them. It’s a bit tricky, but you’ll figure it out. Unless, of course, their kids are little terrors.
3. Gift-Giving Is a Risky Business
You might think buying a toddler a drum set is hilarious. Spoiler alert: it’s not. The novelty will wear off in minutes, and soon the little one will be in tears as the drum set is whisked away. If your thoughtful gift is tossed aside for a piece of junk from a vending machine, don’t take it personally. Just admit you have no clue what kids like and bring along a bottle of wine instead. Lots of lovely wine.
4. Repetition Is Key
One advantage of children is their love for repetitive games. You only need one trick to keep them entertained, like hiding a toy or pretending to nibble on their toes. The downside? They have the stamina of marathon runners and will never tire of it. Don’t worry if things get a bit dramatic, even if it results in tears.
5. Tears Are Inevitable
Little ones cry over the most trivial things. They might be upset because they want a green plate but don’t even know what color green is. Just hand them whatever plate is closest and don’t stress if it triggers tears.
6. Kids Can Be Outrageously Rude
Imagine the worst thing anyone could yell at you in public. Now picture a child shouting it. You’re expected to laugh it off while the parent insists that little Timmy doesn’t understand what “ugly” means. Spoiler: he does. And he’s probably thinking it about you. While you can’t physically retaliate, it’s okay to fantasize about it.
7. Avoid Asking, “Should You Be Doing That?”
The answer is no, but kids will do it anyway. Your best bet as a visitor is to back away slowly and pretend you didn’t see anything. And if the parents are preoccupied, it’s polite to offer to whip up dinner while they take care of emergencies.
8. Don’t Seek Translation from Parents
When kids speak, it’s often a mystery even to their parents. If you can recognize a few keywords, great. But mostly, it’s a guessing game. I’ve learned to use the three R’s when conversing with kids—React, Reassure, Reward. This way, you can appear like you know what’s happening while giving them a cookie for good measure.
9. The Early Evening Madness
Parents call the time before bed the “witching hour.” It’s the loudest and most chaotic part of the day. If you’re visiting overnight, it might be a good time to explore a nearby bar. If there’s none around, sitting outside wondering why no one has called the cops is perfectly acceptable.
10. It’s Okay to Blame the Kids
For any chaos or mess, feel free to point the finger at the kids. It’s not you; it’s them! And when parents say, “They’re not usually like this,” remember: they could be worse.
In summary, spending a weekend with kids can be both amusing and chaotic. By embracing the silliness, setting boundaries, and keeping your cool, you’ll emerge from the experience with your sanity intact. If you’re interested in learning more about the journey to parenthood, check out this resource for valuable insights. For additional information on home insemination, take a look at this article, and for practical kits, visit this link.