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What Happens When You Take a Very Tired Child Out for Dinner?
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Last Saturday was a whirlwind. Our day was packed with kids’ activities starting bright and early at 8:30 AM and stretching into the evening. Why have weekends become such a frenzy? By the time 7:00 PM rolled around, we were finally all together, but everyone was exhausted and starving. Cooking dinner was beyond our energy levels, so my husband, the Captain, heroically suggested we eat out.
While this was a generous offer, in hindsight, we should have just opted for pizza or PB&Js. We had completely overlooked Parenting Rule #312: When kids are cranky and famished, a restaurant is the last place they should be.
After deciding to go, we all needed to change out of our disheveled clothes. The older kids managed to don slightly nicer outfits that were miraculously stain-free. However, I didn’t realize just how exhausted my youngest, Bella, was until she descended the stairs. She strutted down wearing a tattered sundress, sparkly high heels, and an extravagant faux fur jacket, all while clutching a purple handbag stuffed with dolls. She looked at me with a knowing smirk and raised an eyebrow.
I shrugged and told everyone to get in the car. I was too tired to argue, and honestly, she resembled a whimsical mini diva, which was amusing.
Upon arriving at the restaurant, it became clear that Bella was out of sorts. She marched to the hostess stand and picked up a toothpick, yawning dramatically as if the world bored her. As we followed the hostess to our table, she click-clacked her heels, daintily picking her teeth while holding onto her purse. She nodded at the other diners, acknowledging their smiles.
The Captain and I exchanged glances. This was going to be an adventure. We briefly considered retreating, but the thought of going home without food was unthinkable.
When the waiter approached to take her drink order, Bella enthusiastically shouted, “CHOCOLATE MILK!” as if it was the only logical choice. She quickly downed four of them, all while we exchanged horrified apologies for her behavior. Then, she broke into song, starting with her own whimsical creation and then transitioning to a tune from Les Miserables.
“Sweetie, we can’t sing at the table,” I gently reminded her.
“DO YOU HEAR DA PEOPLE SING?!” she boomed back.
“Please stop. This isn’t appropriate.”
“SINGING DA SONGS OF ANGWY MEN!” she shot back, her brother, Luke, chiming in, “I love that song.”
“I’m tired of singing it,” Bella replied, her words slurring as she rested her head on the table. After a moment, she popped her faux fur collar and flashed us a beaming smile.
“Oh dear Lord, it’s like dining with Judy Garland in 1969,” the Captain quipped.
“YES!” I nodded wide-eyed in agreement.
“I need another drink. Waiter!” Bella called, and the waiter appeared as if summoned by her whim.
“What can I get you?” he asked.
“I WANT A CORN DOG!” she declared, her wild expression making everyone at the table freeze.
“CORN DOG,” she pointed at me, then at the Captain and Luke, repeating her demand with increasing zeal.
“Did she just say horn dog?” I whispered to the Captain.
“CORN DOG,” she insisted, nodding with those crazy eyes, before adding, “I HAVE THE HICCUPS NOW.”
Things only got stranger from there. We usually share our highs and lows of the day at the table, a ritual we call “Good, Bad, Silly & Grateful.” But Bella, toothpick in hand, yelled, “IT’S TIME FOR GOOD, BAD, SILLY & GRAVY. NOW. YOU GO FIRST. START WITH GRAVY!”
The stares from other diners were unforgettable. Meanwhile, her exhausted siblings were nearly in tears from laughter, which only fueled her antics.
Finally, our food arrived, and driven by hunger, we dug in. Moments later, I heard a peculiar sound: mmmmmmmMMMMmmmmm. I looked over and saw Bella slumped in her chair, head thrown back and arms sprawled, her faux fur jacket serving as her pillow. It was 8:36 PM.
We quickly wrapped up dinner and headed home. As we tucked our little whirlwind into bed, she kicked off her heels and murmured how much she loved us before rolling over in a huff.
“We love you too, Bella,” we whispered.
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In summary, taking a tired child to dinner can lead to unexpected and hilarious moments. Navigating these experiences with humor and patience is key to making cherished family memories.