In my early twenties, a therapist suggested that many of my life challenges could be linked to Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD. This revelation was unexpected, as I had never considered myself as someone who struggled with focus.
“I genuinely believe you have ADD,” she said. “That’s why you find daily tasks so challenging.” Handing me a questionnaire, she added, “If you score high enough, your doctor can prescribe Adderall.” It felt as if she was comparing my adult struggles to those of a hyperactive child on a sugar rush.
Taking the questionnaire at home, I approached the questions with seriousness—until I encountered one that read: “Do you struggle to focus on things that bore you?” Isn’t that the point of boredom? If tasks were enjoyable, they wouldn’t be boring. I decided that working on my life would yield better results than ADD assessments and medication.
However, for parents—especially those who are stay-at-home—medication like Adderall might seem like a remedy for many of our challenges. I suspect that many parents share my experience, battling to maintain focus on the mundane tasks that fill our days. If we accept the findings from that questionnaire years ago, many of us might qualify for a diagnosis I like to call Parenting Attention Deficit Disorder (PADD). Fingers crossed it makes it into the next DSM edition!
Now, I don’t mean to imply that my attention is always wandering. I can manage to serve my kids three dozen meals and snacks each day, engage in coloring for a solid half-hour, and read stories for much longer. But every so often, my mind drifts to what other adults might be doing instead of scrubbing mac and cheese off the ceiling, leading me to Facebook. Or I find myself scrolling through headlines to help my oldest with social studies homework, rather than exclaiming, “We have a black president?! Since when?!”
When PADD lures me into interesting adult activities, I still keep an ear out for my kids. I need to ensure that my son doesn’t overwhelm his toddler sister with affection—like a character from Tiny Toons who just wants to love her to death. Most of the time, he’s a great big brother, but at four years old, he isn’t exactly a certified babysitter.
Recently, while my kids played together upstairs, I let my guard down. I peeked in and saw my daughter with her sister’s dolls while my son, with his back to me, was engaged in a game he dubbed “Cut Everything” — an alarmingly accurate yet terrifying title.
After a brief distraction on Twitter, I climbed upstairs to find a scene of chaos: my son had transformed his sister’s hair into a makeshift art project. I confiscated the scissors and we spent what felt like an eternity cleaning up countless bits of confetti. I even vacuumed some remnants off my toddler while she was still wearing her clothes! (Yes, I did share this on Facebook during my next PADD episode.)
The day’s events didn’t hit home until my partner returned that evening and asked, “What happened to our toddler’s beautiful curls?” In that moment, I realized that in just five unsupervised minutes, my son had given his sister an impromptu haircut. Cleverly, she had already spilled the beans: when asked about it, she simply nodded and said, “Boy. Hair.”
I completely understood my partner’s frustration—thankfully, it was just a haircut and not a more serious mishap. Since then, I’ve been making an effort to stay more alert. I try to resist the lure of the Internet and remain focused on my kids. However, staying constantly vigilant is no easy task.
I don’t believe that PADD is merely a symptom of our digital age. Parenting has always been this way. Long before smartphones, parents likely found themselves distracted by the many wonders around them, leaving their kids to explore on their own. I have proof.
When The Boy’s preschool teacher heard my story, she shared her own experience: “Oh yes, that happened to me too. My older daughter once gave her sister a haircut under the kitchen table. It was so bad, it resembled a military cut!”
“What were you doing at the time?” I inquired.
“Just sitting at the table, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper,” she shrugged. So while previous generations might not have been glued to their smartphones, they certainly experienced PADD just like us.
If you’re interested in learning more about parenting and related topics, check out some excellent resources like Kindbody’s blog on pregnancy and home insemination or explore how to boost your fertility with supplements from Make a Mom. For more insights on insemination, visit this helpful blog post.
In conclusion, Parenting Attention Deficit Disorder is a relatable challenge many of us face. While distractions are part of our everyday lives, recognizing and addressing them can help us navigate the complexities of parenting more effectively.