It’s Mother’s Day, and my partner, Sarah, is being a bit unreasonable. I know, I know—it’s a day meant for celebration, a chance to appreciate all the hard work mothers put in. But when Sarah said something that completely contradicted my beliefs, I felt compelled to address it.
We had a hectic day. We woke up too early, rushing to get ready for a 10 am birthday bash at Chuck E. Cheese. The kids quickly gobbled down breakfast and dashed upstairs to get dressed. While I struggled to wrap a gift, our daughter complained about her foot hurting. Sarah called me up to check it out, and sure enough, our little girl was limping with a swollen foot. One quick call to the doctor later, we decided to split up: Sarah would take our daughter to the hospital for x-rays, while I took our son to the party.
We wrapped up at Chuck E. Cheese just as Sarah was getting the x-ray results (thankfully, it was nothing serious—just a little Motrin and she was right as rain). We all reconvened at a Park & Ride in Baltimore before heading to another birthday celebration in D.C. After that party, we drove to Silver Spring for a friend’s housewarming shindig.
When we finally headed home around 9:30 pm, Sarah, likely exhausted from the day’s chaos, said something that struck me as ludicrous: “I don’t deserve presents for Mother’s Day. I’m not doing my part as a mom.”
Let’s put this into perspective. Sarah travels extensively for work—not because she wants to escape her family, but because modern motherhood sometimes requires these sacrifices. She balances her job with being a mom, sharing parenting responsibilities while I’m a stay-at-home dad. Every time she returns home from a business trip, she sees photos of our kids having fun without her, and it eats away at her. She often finds herself grappling with guilt, questioning if she’s a “real” mother.
But how can she think that? How can someone who sacrifices so much for her family feel undeserving of recognition? She is the mother of two wonderful kids who learn and grow from her presence in ways I can only aspire to match. I wish I could shower her with Mother’s Day gifts every day, but all I can offer are brief FaceTime calls while she’s away, connecting her with our children.
It’s astounding how we perceive ourselves through the lens of societal expectations. We often feel judged by outdated standards that dictate what it means to be a good mother. If a woman believes she falls short according to these norms, she might start to feel unworthy of the title ‘mother’ altogether.
So, Sarah, as you prepare for another work trip in a couple of days, let me say this on behalf of our family: you are incredibly deserving of our gratitude today. Our kids are fortunate to have you as their mother, and I’m lucky to call you my partner. Happy Mother’s Day to the most deserving mom out there.
To all the other mothers reading this: whether you travel for work and feel like you’re failing, or you stay home and think you’re letting your gender down; whether you’re scrubbing floors or wishing for a break; to those who feel pressured to present a perfect life and those who’ve given up on unrealistic ideals—know that you are not alone. You deserve recognition and appreciation today and every day. Happy Mother’s Day!
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Summary
Mother’s Day is a time for appreciation, yet many mothers struggle with feelings of guilt about their parenting roles. Sarah, a hardworking mom, feels undeserving of recognition due to her work commitments and time away from her children. It’s essential to acknowledge the sacrifices mothers make, regardless of their circumstances. All mothers deserve love and appreciation on this special day.