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My Middle-Aged Journey of Parenting
Despite the stress-induced loss of appetite, there’s a silver lining: unintentional weight loss. Amazingly, I’ve shed about three-quarters of the 10 pounds I aimed to lose. I’ve joked with friends that if this stress continues for just a little longer, I’ll reach my goal weight in no time.
And it’s true! My clothes are fitting better, with some even feeling too loose. I even managed to squeeze back into my “skinny jeans.” These aren’t just any jeans; they are the ones I bought just two days before my wedding when I was at my slimmest—also thanks to stress. I remember calling a close friend, excitedly exclaiming, “I just bought a size 26!” to which she replied, “Wow, that is exciting!”
However, the body that fits into those jeans almost a decade ago is long gone. This morning, as I stood in the bathroom with my husband, I observed my almost-goal weight body and remarked, “This is not how I used to look at this weight.”
At 37, I’ve undergone two C-sections spaced just 16 months apart, as well as a hysterectomy. After having my children, both of whom were average-sized but apparently enjoyed swimming (thanks to a condition that caused me to have an excessive amount of amniotic fluid), my stomach resembles a deflated balloon.
To stay positive about my midsection, I humorously refer to the area between my bra strap and waistband as my “bonus features.” Much like a DVD that includes unexpected extras, these features came along with my kids—no extra charge!
But, shouldn’t losing most of the weight lead to a reduction in those features? Shouldn’t there be less to grab onto and a flatter appearance around my belly button? Apparently not. During our conversation, my husband noted a significant difference, suggesting that my weight might just be “distributed differently now,” and told me I looked beautiful. But, let’s be real—he’s obligated to say that!
What I see is my middle-aged middle. Over the years, I’ve made half-hearted attempts to trim that area. Though I’m not a fan of exercise, I once borrowed a Tracy Anderson DVD titled “Post-Pregnancy Workout.” My husband, within earshot, couldn’t help but snort when Tracy suggested starting the workout six weeks after clearance from a doctor. Our youngest was about 3 years and 6 weeks at that time!
Maybe this is my reality now? The ship for bikinis has sailed, and I’ll be saying goodbye to crop tops. I can’t help but feel a tad resentful, like I’ve been shortchanged. Although, there are perks to these bonus features—my kids are 5 and 6 years old now and absolutely worth every bit of my sagging stomach. (At least I think my backside still looks pretty good!)
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In summary, while my body may have changed over the years, the joy of motherhood and the memories I created with my children are irreplaceable. It’s a learning curve, accepting my new shape and embracing the journey.