Updated: Jan. 18, 2018
Originally Published: July 11, 2013
Six weeks post-birth, once the doctor gave me the green light, I would strap my twins into the double-jogging stroller and embark on a mile-long trek (with a steep uphill segment) to my favorite local coffee shop for a well-deserved iced venti skinny vanilla latte. To maximize my outing, I’d often swing by the international grocery store to chat with the owners and scout for unique ingredients for exciting dinners. Alternatively, I’d visit one of the other shops in the plaza to enjoy some adult interaction. Without fail, I would meet someone who’d be overly enthusiastic about the novelty of twins, which seemed to captivate those without any.
For instance, a man in line behind me at Starbucks exclaimed, “Hey, you better have two in that thing!”
I replied, turning just slightly, “And if I don’t?”
He stammered, “Oh, um, yeah…”
(Note: It’s wise not to joke with a mom of twins before she’s had her coffee.)
Then there was a woman waiting for her drink who said, “Ohhhh, aren’t they adorable! They’re so quiet! How LUCKY you are to have two babies that sleep all the time!”
I couldn’t help but reply, “We’ve been here five minutes after a fifteen-minute stroller ride, do you really think they’re this quiet all the time?”
She continued, “Oh, I guess not. Are they good for you at home?”
I responded, “No. They’re babies. They cry when they’re hungry, tired, or want to be held. And I only have two hands. They cry a lot.”
With a nostalgic smile, she said, “Oh, I remember when mine were babies; I just LOVED holding them ALL the time! You have DOUBLE the love now!”
I couldn’t resist, “Right. Everything is certainly doubled…including the diapers.”
(Note: Refrain from declaring how much LOVE a mom of twins has when you haven’t changed a diaper in thirty years!)
A man in line piped up, “Ooooh, twins! Are they paternal?”
I corrected him gently, “You mean fraternal?”
He said, “Yeah, whatever means they’re not identical.”
“Exactly, they’re fraternal,” I confirmed.
“But they’re both girls?” he asked, clearly puzzled.
“Yes, they’re both girls,” I said, glancing at their bright pink and purple dresses.
“Oh, I thought fraternal meant they had to be boys,” he said.
I sighed. “Nope, fraternal just means they’re not identical. Two separate eggs; they can be either gender or one of each.”
“Oh, cool. So do they look exactly alike?”
Another sigh escaped me. “No, they’re like any other siblings, except they were born on the same day.” [Seriously, I know six-year-olds who grasp this concept faster!]
“Oooooh, got it. They’re cute,” he concluded.
“Thanks,” I replied.
(Note: If biology isn’t your strong suit, it’s best not to toss around terms you don’t fully understand.)
At Walgreen’s, a staff member exclaimed, “Wow! Look at that! Two babies! Are they TWINS?”
I simply nodded, “Yes.”
She continued, “I bet you’re a busy little thing!”
“Yes,” I said, trying to navigate the aisle.
“I just can’t IMAGINE! Do you just LOVE it or what?”
“It’s a challenge. Um, I need to get those over there…”
“Oh, of course! I bet you have so much to do, and here I am just wasting your time!”
“Heh, yeah, I’m busy.” [Seriously, I’m in a hurry; could you please move?]
“Let me just take a quick peek!” she insisted, reaching for the blanket covering the sleeping twins.
“Yeah, they’re asleep now, and the light disturbs them,” I said, retreating a bit.
“Just a quick look!” she pressed.
I sighed and lifted one corner of the blanket slightly, “Okay.”
“Aren’t they precious! Well, I’ll let you go about your business now.”
“Thanks,” I replied, relieved she was finally backing off!
(Note: If a new mom says she’s busy, respect that and don’t take up her time unnecessarily.)
At the farmer’s market, another woman chimed in, “Ooooh, aren’t they cute! Twins?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“A boy and a girl?” she asked.
“No, two girls. Did the floral dress not give it away?”
“Oh, ha ha, right.”
(Note: If you’re unsure of a child’s gender, just ask for their names!)
In a Starbucks line, a woman asked, “Oh wow, twins! Are they natural?”
Pausing for a moment, I quipped, “No, we already have one real daughter, so we decided to make these out of plastic.”
The silence that followed was deafening.
“Oh, ha ha, right – they are beautiful,” she mumbled nervously.
“Thanks,” I replied.
(Note: If discussing your conception methods makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s best to avoid asking about mine.)
Once, a grocery bagger at the commissary, who struggled with English, pointed to my pregnant belly, grabbed her breast, and said, “From here?” I nodded, utterly bewildered about why she thought that was her business. She flexed her arm and said, “Good! Grow strong!”
Imagine where we’d be without the unsolicited advice from complete strangers!
For more insights on twins and parenting, check out our post on intracervical insemination, which dives into the journey of growing families. And if you’re curious about at-home insemination options, visit Make a Mom for expert advice. Additionally, for questions regarding insurance and pregnancy, UCSF offers excellent resources.
In summary, navigating the world with twins brings a mix of joy and challenges, often accompanied by curious comments from strangers. While their enthusiasm can be amusing, it’s best to approach a mom of twins with respect for her time and space.