“Can I have a bikini?” My heart skipped a beat at the sight of my seven-year-old, Lily, her eyes sparkling with excitement. Before I could respond, she asked again, “Can I get a bikini?”
A bikini. A genuine two-piece suit, not just a tankini. She sported a tankini last summer, but she has grown significantly since then. Change is in the air.
As her mother, I find myself wrestling with a whirlwind of worries. I fret about her feeling excluded, or frightened, or teased. I also fear that she might struggle with body image issues, just as I have throughout my life. I’m not a small mom, and I often wonder if my daughter will face the same battles with weight that I have. Will she even be able to wear a bikini after she turns ten? I worry someone might tell her she shouldn’t wear one now.
I take a deep breath and suggest that we bring a few different swimsuits into the dressing room to try on. However, Lily stands firm in her desire for a bikini, and I can’t help but admire her confidence. Yes, I’m the mom—I hold the purse strings and make the final call. But I also believe in giving her a voice. She’s only seven, and choices are limited at that age. Shouldn’t I allow her this one? This one that’s harmless and could bring her joy?
She needs swimsuits for the summer ahead, and the ones I ordered online were not quite right. While she looks cute in the tankinis, I know her heart is set on that bikini—the one with frills and vibrant colors that contrast beautifully against the black fabric. She’s craving a sense of maturity, and I understand the allure. Comfort also plays a significant role; can I really tell her no when she seeks the freedom of less fabric against her skin?
So, I shift my perspective, take the plunge, and buy her the bikini.
A few weeks later, as I watch her leap off the dock and splash into the water, I notice two things. First, the bikini fits her perfectly, and second, my daughter exudes a newfound confidence. She wears it with pride, unbothered by the opinions of others. And in that moment, I, too, feel a sense of reassurance in allowing her this freedom.
If you’re navigating similar parenting questions, you can find helpful insights on related topics in our other blog posts, such as this one.
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In summary, it’s vital to balance our protective instincts as parents with our children’s desires for independence. Embracing their choices—like a bikini—can foster their confidence and strengthen our relationship.