As my little one approaches his first birthday, I can’t help but reflect on the wild and wonderful journey of motherhood. That first year isn’t just a milestone for the baby—it’s a major victory lap for us parents. It’s a celebration of those countless moments where we thought we might just lose it. Here’s a light-hearted look at the challenges I managed to tackle during this transformative year:
- I navigated 12 hours of solo time with a newborn and two indifferent cats.
- I became a pro at texting while breastfeeding (bonus points for doing it in the dark!).
- By week three, I stopped caring that my nursing habits were the talk of every café in town.
- I only shed tears for five minutes when I realized I forgot my breast pads and leaked at Old Navy.
- My son never swallowed anything that landed us in the ER.
- I successfully kept my late-night Amazon shopping sprees to just twice a week.
- I learned how to whip up homemade baby food without any mishaps.
- I skipped organic groceries occasionally and still managed not to poison him.
- I attended a handful of baby yoga classes purely for the free childcare.
- I only fell asleep during breastfeeding every other night—thankfully, I never dropped him!
- My son only managed to pee on me twice.
- He never once had a blowout in the bathtub.
- He only face-planted into my iPad once during our binge-watching of “The Crown.”
- I accepted that laundry and diaper blowouts replaced my wine and cheese girls’ nights.
- It took me seven tries to master using the baby carrier.
- We only had one incident of projectile vomiting, which was quite the sight!
- I only cried once to the cashier at Target while trying to keep it together.
- I never forgot my baby in a random place.
- I wore mismatched shoes to work only once.
- My partner and I survived the year without divorce (I only contemplated it a few times).
- My son didn’t ingest any cat litter—thankfully!
- He never dined on dog poop either.
- I embraced the fact that half my wardrobe might never fit again.
- I smiled and pretended it was adorable when my son was the only child shrieking in Gymboree class.
- I only panicked and googled “why isn’t my child crawling” a few times when he didn’t start until 11 months.
- My son never fell through the bucket swing.
- He only bit another child once.
- He managed to cough up whatever got stuck in his throat before it became a real issue.
- I went to the beach and only burned myself, luckily keeping the baby safe from the sun.
- I kept my job despite spending the last few weeks planning his birthday party during work hours.
- I didn’t smother my husband in his sleep, even when he snoozed through our son’s 3 AM cries.
- I restrained myself from smothering him the next morning when he said, “The baby woke up? I didn’t hear a thing!”
- I didn’t smack anyone who asked if my son was crawling when he wasn’t.
- My son never fell off the changing table, buckle-free and all. (Do people actually use those?)
- I’ve come to terms with my post-baby body—sagging boobs and gray hair are a fair trade for my sweet boy.
Happy first birthday to me!
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In summary, the first year of motherhood is a rollercoaster ride filled with challenges and triumphs, and it’s a time to celebrate our strength and resilience.
