- Super glue has no business being in homes with little ones.
- Sharpies? A definite no-go.
- That “one time” your kid can use your phone? It never ends well.
- Trusting Google for health advice? Don’t even think about it.
- Dollar store toys come with a hefty price tag of frustration and regret.
- The “terrible twos”? More like the terrible twos through four, or even longer!
- Wipes are a must-have, even after diapers are long gone.
- Avoid character Band-Aids unless you want to buy them weekly.
- You can’t have too many Goldfish crackers—seriously, not the live ones!
- Bunk beds are best avoided unless absolutely necessary.
- Keep a record of gift-givers at birthday parties.
- Stocking up on batteries? Get ready for noisy toys to come back to life.
- Bulk buy Mr. Clean Erasers—they’re lifesavers.
- Always back up photos; even better, print them out!
- Check inside the oven before turning it on.
- Making beds? It’s futile.
- Accept that you will inevitably become like your mother.
- Always check pockets before doing laundry.
- There’s no such thing as a quick trip to Target with kids.
- Capture more moments on video.
- Daily baths might be overrated.
- Train young babysitters—less attractive ones work best!
- Keep plenty of one-dollar bills handy for lost teeth and bribes.
- Stock your car with emergency snacks.
- Keep expensive makeup well out of reach—kids are crafty!
- The four-year check-up? It’s a tough one.
- Always look before sitting down to pee.
- Teach your kids to clean up Legos before bedtime—stepping on one is a midnight nightmare!
- Save “no” for the important moments.
- Over-apply sunscreen—better safe than sorry!
- Approach that stray raisin on the floor with caution; it’s probably not what you think.
- Never pay full price for kids’ clothes; they always go on sale and the pricey ones get ruined first.
- Surprising kids with Disney trips? The buildup will stress you out!
- Don’t trust kids when they insist they don’t need to pee before leaving.
- Lock your bedroom door.
- And your bathroom door too.
- Never accept a can of soda from a child.
- Walk away from tantrums, or document them for laughs later.
- Hair grows back, even if you’re upset now.
- But remember, Barbie dolls don’t have that luxury—hide the scissors!
- Limit yourself to two pairs of shoes at a time; their feet grow fast!
- Kids will promise to walk the puppy, but don’t hold your breath.
- Get rid of the books that make you cringe to read.
- No child has ever gone to college with a pacifier.
- Don’t buy toys that fall apart unless they can reassemble them independently.
- Keep a stash of lollipops hidden away.
- Play-Doh? Keep it off carpets and out of the house!
- TV won’t actually turn their brains to mush.
- A bathroom shared by boys will never smell fresh.
- It really doesn’t get easier.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy. And don’t forget to visit our other blog post for more engaging content regarding parenting and family life. If you’re exploring options, Make a Mom offers great insights on artificial insemination kits.
In summary, navigating the world of parenting is filled with unique challenges and lessons. From avoiding the chaos caused by small toys to understanding the importance of keeping certain items out of reach, every bit of advice helps in making this journey a little easier. Embrace the chaos, cherish the moments, and remember, you’re not alone in this!