Recently, a man made headlines for tracking his wife’s reasons for declining sex on an Excel spreadsheet and sharing it with everyone. If I were her, I’d be feeling rather less than romantic about it. To avoid any similar tracking by my dear partner, I’d like to lay out my own list of reasons.
- I can’t shake this feeling of being unclean. With toddlers around, I’m constantly covered in remnants of snacks, spills, and the occasional diaper incident. I did manage to shower today, but as soon as I dried off, I started sweating. It’s been one of those days—three T-shirts and counting.
- Do you recall that little disagreement we had just 20 minutes ago about how to prepare the baby’s bottle? I certainly do, especially since you stormed off like a child.
- My libido seems to have taken a vacation, possibly replaced by an overwhelming sense of exhaustion.
- How about we pretend we had a wild night instead? No one would ever know, and we could just tell our friends we can’t keep our hands off each other.
- You know, maybe we should consider adding a third party to our relationship to spice things up? I’m thinking of a cleaning service! They could handle the chores while I focus on, well… you know.
- Sure, we could have sex, or we could enjoy an extra 19 minutes of sleep. I think you can guess which option is winning me over right now.
- Believe it or not, being micromanaged and second-guessed isn’t exactly a turn-on for me.
- After a day of being a human jungle gym to our kids, all I want is to curl up with a magazine (even a novel feels too ambitious) and enjoy a big glass of vodka. Cheers to that!
- You know what really revs my engine? Just once, admitting you were wrong would be a huge bonus.
- And let me stress this one more time: I desperately need another shower. Right now, I smell like a pizza joint.
Despite being married for a decade, I still find you incredibly attractive. Sure, juggling two toddlers can be a challenge, but I wouldn’t want to share this journey with anyone else. Perhaps tomorrow night? Until then, I’ll be dreaming of you!
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Summary:
Finding reasons to skip intimacy can be humorous and relatable, especially for busy parents. From feeling unclean to needing extra sleep, these reasons highlight the challenges of maintaining romance in a hectic family life. However, the love and attraction remain strong, reminding us that there’s always hope for tomorrow.