According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, 1 in 5 girls will experience molestation. I am one of those statistics.
It happened during a sleepover. We all slept on the pull-out couch in the living room. She was nearly a year older and managed to persuade me into doing things I instinctively knew were wrong. I felt scared, intimidated, and manipulated. Despite my better judgment, I went along with it.
Molestation is just one type of trauma that can shadow a childhood. Other forms include physical abuse, witnessing violence such as shootings or stabbings, chronic neglect, natural disasters, accidents, medical traumas, emotional abuse, and more. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network reports that 68% of children will face some form of trauma by age 16. While not all develop PTSD, 20% experience significant emotional, academic, or physical challenges. And the impact of trauma doesn’t vanish as we transition into adulthood; its scars can affect us for a lifetime.
Those sleepovers didn’t stop. My fear of speaking up and my reluctance to defy her wishes meant they continued. I was repeatedly molested at just seven years old by another child. Yes, children can inflict harm on one another. This led me to start withdrawing from school, making me a target for bullying, which I couldn’t handle. My grades slipped, and tears became my constant companion.
When I say trauma doesn’t go away, I truly mean it doesn’t just fade. The International Center for Trauma Stress Studies states that survivors often grapple with anxiety, guilt, hopelessness, and anger—feelings that may not appear directly connected to the traumatic experience. For instance, I often feel guilty over situations that aren’t my fault, like a messy kitchen, even when I had no opportunity to tidy up. More concerning is that childhood trauma can lead to a higher likelihood of anxiety, depression, self-harm, and relationship difficulties in adulthood.
In my situation, the abuse I endured exacerbated a latent depression that was likely already there due to genetic factors. This depression consumed my childhood, leaving me feeling like I was in a wood chipper that obliterated my happy moments. For various reasons, my struggles remained untreated. I became the sad, friendless child who cried often, resorting to self-harm and even contemplating suicide.
This cycle didn’t magically end once I reached adulthood, began college, or hit other milestones. Trauma persists; it finds new ways to manifest. The abuse made me feel worthless, and the ensuing depression only reinforced that belief. My parents, unaware of the depth of my pain, did not offer the support I needed, leading me to conclude yet again that I was unworthy of love.
Research from the Association for Psychological Science indicates that those who suffer childhood trauma face a heightened risk of developing severe depression, a condition that can be both debilitating and, in some instances, fatal. Studies have shown that early-life stress radically alters the brain’s neurobiological systems, making it impossible to simply “get over it.” In fact, a staggering 75.6% of chronically depressed individuals report significant histories of childhood trauma.
Eventually, I sought help. A combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, which is recommended for survivors of abuse and those struggling with depression, along with psychiatric medication, has led me to a place of healing. There are numerous treatment options for individuals with PTSD, such as prolonged exposure therapy, cognitive processing therapy, and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). Although it may sound unconventional, EMDR is endorsed by various medical professionals and has proven effective for many trauma survivors.
Childhood trauma is indeed treatable, and there is hope for recovery. We are not destined to live our lives burdened by depression and relational struggles. However, to heal, it is crucial to seek help, often encouraged by the support of loved ones (for me, it was my partner who nudged me toward seeking professional assistance).
Just because trauma occurred in childhood doesn’t mean it can be brushed aside. Many children today are grappling with the aftermath of natural disasters like Hurricanes Harvey and Maria, or witnessing violence and abuse. These experiences leave lasting impressions that reshape their minds and perceptions. We cannot simply expect them to “get over it.” They require support, counseling, and resources to navigate their pain.
Above all, they need assurance, safety, and the protective embrace of a loving family to help process their experiences. With that support, they may dodge becoming part of the cycle of depression, addiction, or anxiety. They may not easily overcome their trauma, but with help, they can heal. And so can we.
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Summary
Childhood trauma leaves lasting scars, affecting emotional health into adulthood. The journey to healing can be long, but with the right support and treatment, individuals can find peace and hope. It’s crucial to acknowledge that trauma doesn’t simply disappear; rather, it requires recognition, resources, and reassurance for recovery.