When I share that I’m the mother of five kids, people often pause, look puzzled, and then shoot me a glance that suggests I might be a little off my rocker. There’s a certain stigma attached to having a big family — and by big, I mean a small army of children. Society seems to have an unspoken rule that anything above three kids is a cause for raised eyebrows and sympathetic looks. Recently, someone even said to me, “I’m so sorry,” as if having a large family were akin to catching a nasty cold.
What many don’t realize is that once you exceed three kiddos, the rest just meld seamlessly into the chaos. It’s like adding Metamucil to a milkshake — you hardly notice! In fact, I had more meltdowns with just two rambunctious boys than I do now with five. Five feels like a vibrant circus; it’s chaotic, but we have a blast! We might not literally juggle knives or swing from the curtains, but life is certainly never dull.
Thinking about raising your own small army? Here are ten essential survival tips:
- Tattoo Their Names: To keep track of all those little feet, consider tattooing their names on their foreheads. With names like Lily, Mia, Tessa, Zoe, and Emma in the mix, it can drive you a bit nuts trying to remember who’s who. A Sharpie works in a pinch, too.
- Stock Up on Ramen Noodles: Feeding a small army can get pricey! Ramen noodles are your best friend at just $0.10 a pack—perfect for those budget-friendly meals.
- Let the Squabbles Go: Don’t sweat the small stuff! You can’t be a full-time referee. Unless there’s blood involved, let the kids hash it out. A little tussling can be good exercise.
- Laundry Wars: Say hello to your new nemesis: laundry! If it doesn’t smell like a barn or have visible stains, let them wear it again. A spritz of AXE or Glade can work wonders to mask any lingering odors.
- The Power of Your Finger: When all your kids are clamoring for attention, just raise a finger like a traffic cop. If they keep talking, point it up higher. This little gesture will not only confuse them but also bring you some instant peace.
- Kiss the Sports Car Goodbye: A mini-van is now a necessity, or maybe even one of those short buses! They double as a makeshift RV for spontaneous family adventures.
- Shower Hacks: Finding time to shower is a challenge when you have multiple kids. You’ll need to be quick! Consider using the garden hose for the kids and get them to line up for a quick rinse.
- Diaper Assembly Line: If you have toddlers still in diapers, lay them out in a row and change them like a pro. Diapers off, wipes on, fresh ones secured—boom, you’re done!
- Duct Tape Magic: Never underestimate the versatility of duct tape. It can secure diapers, fix broken toys, and even serve as a gentle reminder for rowdy behavior. Just keep it out of reach from little hands!
- Embrace the Chaos: Sometimes, you’ll just need to step back and say, “Forget this!” When life gets overwhelming, take a breather. A little getaway, a drive, or a glass of wine can work wonders to recharge your spirits.
For more tips on parenting and family life, check out this article. And if you’re interested in starting your own family journey, make sure to visit Make A Mom and ACOG for some excellent resources on home insemination and pregnancy.
In summary, raising a family can be both rewarding and chaotic, but with a bit of humor and a lot of patience, you can thrive in the delightful madness.