My partner, Jake, and I have one of those convenient coffee machines that uses pre-packaged pods. You simply push a button, and voilà – coffee! Sure, these machines are not eco-friendly, and there are plenty of reasons to avoid them. But we can’t seem to agree on what other type of coffee maker to purchase, so we keep defaulting to this one. We’re honestly too drained to make a choice, so every morning, we just push the button and feel grateful for one fewer decision.
This fatigue manifested itself recently when I attempted to brew my morning coffee. All I needed to do was push a button—something even a monkey could do. Yet, I somehow forgot to place the coffee cup under the spout, resulting in a colorful mess all over the counter and floor. Clearly, I’m not quite functioning at my best.
For years, I’ve attributed my weariness to my young children and the challenges of motherhood. Whether it’s runny noses, sleepless nights, or little feet invading my personal space at dawn, my physical exhaustion is undeniable. However, I’ve come to realize there’s a different kind of fatigue that stems from the daily grind of motherhood, which I’ve recently learned is known as “decision fatigue.”
As highlighted in a recent article on Elite Daily, “decision fatigue” refers to the decline in our ability to make choices after a long day of making trivial decisions. Even if these decisions seem inconsequential, the sheer volume can be overwhelming. I find myself mentally short-circuiting; I can’t even remember the name of the coffee maker.
The article mentions how influential leaders, like President Obama, simplify their lives by wearing the same outfit daily to conserve mental energy for more significant decisions. This resonates with me. With my mind cluttered by trivial choices, I fear I won’t have the mental space to tackle the big things. I’m worried that feeling drained by the minutiae is robbing me of the energy needed to be a strong leader for my family. My responsibilities include teaching them love, kindness, and how to make their own decisions.
Mornings of Chaos
Mornings often start with a whirlwind of questions:
- 5:59 AM: “Can I play on my tablet?”
- 6:02 AM: “Why is the baby crying?”
- 6:03 AM: “Where are my toys?”
And it goes on. In that first hour, I find myself making decisions for four different people every few minutes, leaving little time for basic tasks like using the restroom or contemplating why my child’s game isn’t working.
As I mop up the spilled coffee, I realize I’m tired for all the wrong reasons. I think about my go-to “mom uniform,” a choice that reflects simplicity and minimizes decision-making. Beyond just comfortable clothes, I need to become more resilient. I want my kids’ questions to bounce off me, so I can teach them how to sift through life’s noise and make their own relevant choices.
Ultimately, I decide that my most important decision each day is to love my children enough to empower them to figure things out on their own. This way, we can tackle the significant challenges that lie ahead together. “I don’t know where your pajamas are, but you can find them. You get to decide what snack to have. Once you’re done, come find me.”
It’s Chanukah, and as we prepare latkes and create cherished memories, I find the energy I need for this special time.
For more insights on motherhood and related topics, check out this excellent resource about fertility and home insemination. To explore more about our experiences, you can read about decision fatigue in our other blog posts, like this one on terms and conditions that can keep you engaged. For those interested in self-insemination, this site offers an authoritative perspective on at-home insemination kits.
Summary
Motherhood can lead to both physical and mental exhaustion, particularly due to “decision fatigue.” Each day is filled with numerous trivial decisions that can overwhelm even the most organized parents. By simplifying choices and empowering children to make their own decisions, parents can conserve energy for more significant family matters. Amidst the chaos, finding moments to create memories remains paramount.