I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since Christmas, and before that, it was Halloween. The last time I indulged was during last summer. With each passing day of sobriety, alcohol feels increasingly like a toxin to me. I’ve completely given it up.
My wine-loving friends are probably in shock. (Let’s be kind, they’re not all party animals.) In high school, while my classmates were partying, I often stood on the sidelines. I witnessed some wild times, but soon enough, the laughter turned to tears, fights broke out, and someone always ended up sick, leaving the unsuspecting parents of the host wondering what went wrong.
Given what I saw, drinking never appealed to me, and I faced my fair share of teasing for choosing not to partake. The questions were endless: Why even show up if I wasn’t going to drink? Did I think I was somehow superior?
By the end of my senior year, curiosity and peer pressure led me to join the party scene. I dove headfirst into the world of excessive drinking, sharing in all sorts of reckless escapades—like flashing bartenders for free drinks and swimming in alligator-infested waters at night. I also became acquainted with the darker side of alcohol through a couple of relationships with alcoholic partners, experiencing codependency before realizing it was a trap that could consume me.
With a family history of alcoholism, I consider myself fortunate to have escaped with minimal consequences from my own reckless behavior. Once my party phase ended, I was able to walk away from it all. I distanced myself from my college drinking buddies, gradually reducing my consumption to what was socially acceptable as I transitioned into adulthood. My intake further decreased during pregnancy and while nursing. For years, a couple of glasses of wine on a few evenings per week was my norm.
About two years ago, I started writing more seriously. I found that I couldn’t write effectively with a foggy mind, nor could I stay awake long after a full day with my kids if I added alcohol to the mix. So, I swapped my evening glass of wine for the time spent pouring my thoughts into my computer. Eventually, I realized I had lost my taste for wine and how it made me feel.
I’ve come to understand that I don’t enjoy intentionally impairing myself. Life can be challenging enough without the added haze of alcohol. Plus, I’ve found that social interactions become even trickier for me when I’ve been drinking. I’ve often said something I regretted, which only adds to my anxiety about how others perceive me.
Now, just the thought of a wine list gives me a headache. I make an awful hungover person and prefer not to spend days feeling miserable due to my choices. Eliminating alcohol has been a game-changer for my mood, keeping me more balanced (though I still deal with the joys of PMS).
When it comes to unwinding after a tough day, I’ve discovered that simply putting my feet up without a drink is just as relaxing—and it doesn’t leave me with a headache. It’s liberating to embrace my awkwardness in social situations without relying on a drink to ease my discomfort.
Peer pressure exists even in my mid-thirties, albeit in a subtler form. At gatherings, it’s expected to have a drink in hand, and when I decline, I often get surprised reactions. Friends assume I’m joking when I say my cocktail is non-alcoholic and hesitate to drink as much as they would if I were partaking. It can be tough to express my disinterest in drinking without feeling like I’m back in high school, where my sobriety might be interpreted as judgment against others.
The difference now? I no longer feel the need to fit in. I don’t care if someone thinks I’m not cool for choosing not to drink—especially since I’m no longer in relationships that could be influenced by such choices.
In today’s culture, the “mommy needs her sippy cup” mindset is prevalent, and while I find it amusing at times (likely exaggerated for effect), I wonder about those like me who simply prefer a non-alcoholic lifestyle. Is there anyone else out there who feels the same?
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In summary, my journey of giving up alcohol has led me to newfound clarity and comfort in social settings. I embrace my choice wholeheartedly and hope to connect with others who share a similar path.