Is it just me, or does it feel like there’s a strange competition out there to see who can give their child the most eye-roll-inducing name? Suddenly, everyone seems to be “that person” when it comes to naming their little ones. You know, the one who makes everyone blink in disbelief when they hear their baby’s “quirky” name that’s packed with extra consonants and random apostrophes? Yeah, I certainly didn’t want to be that person—let’s avoid being that person together!
Here are some tips on what to skip when it comes to naming your baby:
1. Alter the Spelling of a Common Name
Why complicate a perfectly good name by messing with its spelling? It’s tough enough for people to spell names correctly as is. Changing Mark to Marq won’t make your child more special—it will just lead to a lifetime of correcting people. Your kid isn’t going to be more unique if you spell Samantha as S’mantha. They’ll just find themselves constantly irritated when nobody spells it right. Just a thought: If you want to slightly adjust a nickname to match the full name, like Catie for Catherine, that’s more forgivable.
2. Create a Confusing Pronunciation
I once heard of a girl named Le-ah. No, it’s not pronounced “Lee ah” or “Lee.” It’s “Lee dash ah.” Yes, you read that right! Poor Le-ah will likely be correcting people before she even hits preschool.
3. Use a Name of the Opposite Gender
I completely support breaking away from gender norms, but there are more effective ways to do that than confusing everyone with your child’s name. Names like Terry or Kelly are fine, but naming a girl Maxwell? That’s a bit much, Jessica Simpson. I’m sure you had your reasons, but it leaves others scratching their heads.
4. Give Your Child a Nickname as Their Actual Name
A friend of mine had an acquaintance named JD—just JD, no full name. The guy got tired of explaining, “No, it’s not short for anything; that’s just my name.” He eventually made up a full name for himself: Jack Daniel. Southern logic at its finest!
5. Choose a Goofy Name for a Silly Reason
If you want to name your child Esmeralda Ireland because it honors your grandmother and grandfather’s birthplace, that’s lovely. But if the reason is that you like witches or hope to visit Ireland one day, that’s not quite as solid. Also, try to avoid naming your child after a random object, celebrity, or trendy character. (I’m looking at you, Edward Cullen!)
6. Invent a Name Just for Fun
My partner and I considered combining our grandmothers’ names to create Glophia, but we realized that just inventing a name for the sake of being quirky wasn’t the best idea. If you don’t have a meaningful reason behind a new name, it’s better left alone.
Ultimately, you can name your child whatever you wish, but if you’re leaning towards something unusual, make sure you have a solid reason behind it. Plus, if you’re going to give your child a name that may raise eyebrows, don’t shy away from sharing it. When someone hesitates to reveal their baby’s name, I can’t help but think it must be something controversial. When you choose a name—no matter how unconventional—own it!
And remember, when you hear of a child with a bizarre name, your first thought might be, “Why would a parent do this?” The decision is yours, but your child will carry that name with them for a lifetime. Keep in mind how they may feel about it in the long run.
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Summary:
Choosing a baby name is an important decision that can impact your child’s life. Avoid unusual spellings, confusing pronunciations, and names that belong to the opposite gender. It’s essential to have a meaningful reason behind any unique name. Ultimately, own your choice and consider how your child may feel about their name as they grow.