Parenting
Looking to annoy your child? No judgment here—it’s surprisingly simple! Here are 23 effective strategies:
- Start their day by waking them up early.
- Use your own saliva to wipe their face clean.
- Mistakenly toss their current homework in the recycling, thinking it’s old.
- Announce a new limit on their screen time—and actually enforce it.
- When they call in sick from school, don’t immediately rush to pick them up because your phone was on silent, leaving them stuck with that odd kid in the nurse’s office.
- Forget to save that one crucial piece of artwork they cherish deeply.
- Ask them to take care of feeding the dog, even if that’s their sole household chore.
- Attempt to clarify their homework using different terminology than their teacher, leading to confusion.
- Stop reading a Harry Potter book right before a thrilling moment. “And just as the monster was about to pounce on Harry and his friends… Goodnight, sweetie!”
- Suggest a wardrobe change when they insist on wearing that old, shrunken sweater and those raggedy pants.
- Remind them that their homework is still waiting.
- Stock only “boring” snacks at home.
- Allow their favorite socks to develop holes without offering to fix them.
- Skip buying new Skylanders Swap Force characters because you’ve already splurged on the regular ones.
- Get so dizzy from watching their Minecraft roller coaster that you close your eyes and miss the epic part!
- At dinner, insist they use cutlery.
- Encourage them to use a napkin instead of their shirt.
- Ask them to use polite language while eating.
- Remind them to just sit in a chair and not anywhere else.
- Attempt to explain concepts they are currently learning, as if you know better—even with your Masters in Physical Therapy from the time you dissected a human heart.
- Offer only unexciting TV options and try to convince them how lucky they are to have more choices than you did growing up with just one, like The Dukes of Hazzard, only to see their eyes glaze over.
- Kindly ask them to aim for the toilet rather than the general vicinity.
- Finally, let them know it’s time for bed.
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Summary:
Navigating parenting can sometimes lead to amusingly frustrating moments for your child, from waking them up early to bedtime reminders. Understanding what annoys them can be a funny way to bond—or at least share a laugh.