Your cart is currently empty!
You Showed Up. Here’s a Trophy!
By: Jamie Foster
Updated: September 29, 2023
Originally Published: April 16, 2014
My son’s workspace is a treasure trove of unmerited trophies. Okay, maybe not the “largest in the world,” but it certainly rivals many kids’ collections of awards, medals, and certificates earned just for participating. By the time he finished elementary school, he had amassed a mountain of accolades, leading casual observers to believe he was the top kid in the world.
Truth be told, my son wasn’t exactly a star athlete. He once asked his coach if he could sit out during football practice because his uniform was uncomfortable. And at the community soccer tournament, let’s just say he might have tripped over the ball more times than an eight-year-old should. Yet, he proudly displays his trophies that supposedly validate his prowess in sports.
While there are certainly children who genuinely excel and earn their accolades, it seems that many are simply rewarded for showing up. I completely understand the importance of fostering my son’s self-esteem. Did I ever roll my eyes when he struck out in baseball? Absolutely not! Like any caring parent, I offered him a reassuring smile and said something like, “You really gave it your all, sweetie. It’s too bad you’re not the most coordinated, but that’s probably my fault with my clumsy genes.”
I wholeheartedly support celebrating effort. However, if there were an award for the most self-assured child, he would undoubtedly take home the gold. But the notion of handing out trophies solely for participation doesn’t align with my view of building real confidence.
If my child didn’t genuinely earn that trophy, why should he receive one? Does it truly enhance his self-esteem, or does it send the message that mediocrity is acceptable? Are we cultivating a generation that believes showing up is sufficient? A friend of mine, a college professor, has received multiple emails from parents questioning why their exceptionally gifted children didn’t earn an A in her class. Perhaps it’s because they didn’t actually earn it.
I want my son to grow up understanding that he can’t just coast and expect to receive an A, an award, or even a seventh-place trophy. I prefer that he learns the value of hard work and that achievements should be based on his own efforts. Imagine a world where everyone “earned a trophy” as they transitioned into adulthood—applying for that dream job? Just show up, and it’s yours! Want to get into a top-tier PhD program? Everyone gets accepted!
I’m not against encouraging our children, making them feel valued, or motivating them to participate in life. So, when your little one is upset because their friend won first place at the swim meet and they didn’t receive a trophy, calmly explain that not everyone can win all the time. That shiny trophy, while appealing, doesn’t inspire genuine success. I love my son dearly and only want the best for him.
I certainly don’t want to be calling his professors in twenty years asking for a favor on his grades. What I truly desire is for him to understand that hard work is necessary to achieve his dreams.
For more insights on parenting and related topics, you can also check out this article, which dives deeper into the importance of effort. Additionally, for those exploring home insemination, the BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit is a great authority on the subject. If you’re interested in fertility information, Medical News Today is an excellent resource.
Summary:
This article discusses the implications of awarding children trophies for mere participation rather than merit. It emphasizes the importance of teaching children that hard work and effort are essential for true achievement, rather than simply celebrating their presence.