As a parent or coach involved in children’s organized sports, there’s really just one essential guideline to follow: Don’t be a jerk.
With Little League season in full swing, it seems many adults could use a refresher on this principle. To help, I’ve crafted a fun quiz to clarify what kind of behavior is acceptable at games.
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A 7-year-old from the opposing team faces the pitching machine and strikes out. You leap up, pumping your fist and shouting “YES!” Are you the inventor of that pitching machine? Do you happen to own shares in its manufacturing company? If not, you’re being a jerk.
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Your team’s shortstop drops the ball. Did you yell “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, JAMES?” at 6-year-old James? Yep, that makes you a jerk. (And even if James is 12, you’re still a jerk.)
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Your 9-year-old laughs when the other team’s goalie gets hit in the face. Guess what? You’re a jerk. If your child is acting like a jerk, they likely learned it from you. There are enough jerks in the world; please don’t create more.
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An 8-year-old on the opposing team is up to bat, and you’re sitting just a few feet away. Are you trying to distract him with shouts of “Ice cream is here!”? If so, you’re a jerk.
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On the drive home from your 10-year-old’s game, did you say any of the following?
- “What was going through your mind on that last play?”
- “Sarah really shouldn’t play baseball; she’s holding the team back.”
- “The referee must be blind; you were definitely safe.”
Congratulations, you’re a jerk.
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Your daughter’s best friend hits a grand slam while playing against your team. When she crosses home plate, did you congratulate her or give her a high-five? If not, you’re a jerk.
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During your 7-year-old’s lacrosse match, are you pacing the sidelines as if waiting for important news? If yes, you’re a jerk.
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When the coach tells your child to “throw it to second!” did you yell “throw it home!” instead? If so, you’re a jerk.
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A 7-year-old second baseman falls while trying to reach for a ball. Are you arguing with the umpire about obstruction? If yes, you’re a jerk.
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Have you ever said “things are about to get intense” during a pee-wee football game? Or yelled “Get some glasses!” at the referee? If either is a yes, you’re a jerk.
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Have you ever been ejected from a game or banned from coaching in a league? If so, you’re a jerk.
Let’s be real, folks: If you can’t keep your jerk tendencies in check, it might be best to stay home. It’s about the kids and having fun. Life’s too short for this nonsense. If you’re looking for more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out our other blog posts, like this one on intracervical insemination. For those interested in artificial insemination, Make A Mom provides excellent resources. Additionally, to prepare for your first IUI, Parents has a fantastic guide.
Summary
The overarching message for adults involved in kids’ sports is to avoid negative behavior. Whether it’s cheering against the opposing team, yelling at young players, or distracting them, these actions only create an unhealthy environment. Remember, it’s just a game meant for fun and growth!