Recently, while picking up my son from preschool, a curious little girl named Mia tugged at my sweater and innocently asked, “Where is Jake’s daddy?” Without a moment’s hesitation, I smiled and replied with my usual response, “He doesn’t have a daddy.” Mia paused, clearly perplexed, and before I could grab Jake’s lunchbox and make a quick exit to avoid any further awkward inquiries, she asked, “Did his daddy pass away?”
“No,” I replied gently. “Jake just doesn’t have a dad. Some families have both parents, while others may have just one parent, grandparents, or even a mix. Jake has a mom and a sister, and that’s his family.”
This explanation made me seem like a rare creature in Mia’s eyes, who had been well-versed in the ways of nature but not in family dynamics. She scrunched her face in confusion and started to respond with a “But…” when Jake interrupted her with his excitement.
“I tried a new food today, Mom! Can we go to Target?” he asked, completely unfazed. Of course, we can! Target awaits, and you deserve a treat for trying diced pears, buddy. High five!
At five years old, Jake understands our unique family setup. He doesn’t question our situation or the fact that, while I don’t resemble the Virgin Mary, I raised him without a father. Since he was old enough to ask, I’ve explained to him kindly that he simply doesn’t have a dad, and he seems perfectly fine with that. In fact, he’s thriving—full of joy, humor, and smarts. He loves monster trucks, video games, and kicking a soccer ball around with friends. He’s a sweet boy who gives hugs and loves to laugh.
The reasons behind his situation are a part of my past that I don’t dwell on. I am genuinely content being a single parent and wholeheartedly believe that my choice to raise him alone was the right one for both of us. Yes, balancing a full-time job while parenting can be exhausting and, at times, financially challenging, but I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. Well, maybe I’d prefer not to be going gray prematurely, but thank goodness for non-drip foam hair color!
As Father’s Day approaches, I find myself preparing to celebrate not only my dad and my beloved late grandfather, whom Jake is named after, but also my role as a mom who often takes on the responsibilities of a dad. While I don’t expect Jake to see me as his dad, I embody both nurturing and teaching roles. I’m the one who bakes cakes and also the one who takes him to monster truck shows. I’ve taught him manners and even how to pee standing up. I comfort him during his doctor’s visits, encouraging him to be brave when he gets his shots, and I help him shake off the falls when he’s riding his bike.
Each year around this time, I have to have “the talk” with Jake’s teacher, as they change yearly. There will be class activities where kids create something special for their dads or invite them for breakfast. I make it clear that I’ll be there for breakfast, and perhaps Jake can make his crafts for his grandpa or uncle instead. Hopefully, I’ll end up with a macramé tie to proudly display on our bookshelf, right next to the colorful wooden jewelry box he made me for Mother’s Day.
This piece is dedicated to my fellow amazing single mothers, as well as to those hardworking moms who juggle both parental roles. There are also many single dads out there who deserve recognition on Mother’s Day too. Perhaps it’s time to rethink Father’s and Mother’s Days and celebrate a Parents’ Day instead—twice a year so we can all enjoy a lovely eggs benedict brunch!
In conclusion, being a single parent is a unique journey filled with both challenges and joys. It’s a reminder that families come in all shapes and sizes, and love is what truly matters. If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination and parenting, check out this informative guide. You’ll find valuable resources, such as this one on fertility insurance that can help navigate your journey. And for those considering at-home insemination, this kit is an excellent option.