“Oh my goodness! She is absolutely precious!”
I don’t even need to look up from the cereal box I’m examining to know which of my three daughters has caught the woman’s attention.
“Where does she get that beautiful strawberry hair? And those big brown eyes…” The woman’s voice fades as she gazes, almost mesmerized by my daughter’s captivating features.
“Actually, red hair is a recessive trait, so both my husband and I must have it in our ancestry,” I respond politely, trying to sound unfazed, even though I’ve had this conversation at least three times already today. I’m certain I’ll get asked again before I leave the grocery store. I glance over at my other two daughters, who have caramel hair and lighter eyes. They resemble both their dad and me. But my middle child? She looks like a cartoon angel—almost too cute to be real.
From the moment she was born, the compliments poured in. Nurses cooed over her, and it hasn’t stopped since.
Everywhere we go. Seriously, everywhere.
“She’s just… I’ve never seen a baby so perfect!”
“She should be in a magazine!”
“She’s definitely the cutest of your kids… and she knows it.”
“Don’t get me wrong—all of your daughters are lovely, but that one…”
All three of my girls have had the same teachers, yet my middle daughter gets away with things the others simply don’t. People assume she’s sweet-natured because of her looks. “Wow, what a darling! And so clever!” they’ll say as she picks her nose during church.
She’s often chosen for roles in school plays and engages in more conversations than her sisters. At blogging events, PR folks are always eager to snap her picture.
This newfound attention is foreign to me. As Amy Poehler might say, my “currency” has always been my personality. Back when I was single, I would linger near restrooms until my friends snagged free drinks, then I’d pop out and be the designated conversationalist, often sending the poor fellow running.
Being slightly less-than-average looking has its perks. It pushed me to develop my personality to connect with others, and my parents never had to worry about me announcing a surprise pregnancy in high school. Plus, I’ve likely saved a fortune on beauty pageant outfits. But let’s be honest—life tends to be easier for the beautiful. Whether it’s dating, making friends, or landing jobs, attractive individuals have the advantage. A 2013 study by Business Insider revealed that good-looking job applicants were 24% more likely to receive callbacks for interviews than their less attractive counterparts.
However, my daughter’s beauty does come with its challenges. I’ve had people jokingly offer to buy her (while I’m sure they meant it as a joke, on some days, I might consider the offer), request to photograph her (umm, no thanks), and I’ve even noticed individuals covertly filming her (those folks are now resting in shallow graves).
As a parent, I find myself uncertain about how to navigate this situation. I appreciate the compliments, but I don’t want them to inflate her ego or, worse, create insecurities in my other two daughters.
Should I downplay her looks?
“Oh, she’s cute!”
“Meh, I’ve seen cuter.”
Or should I highlight my other daughters instead? Perhaps hold them up by their scruffs and display their healthy gums like show dogs? But look at that shiny coat on this one!
For now, I suppose I’ll just keep smiling, saying thank you, and explaining the basics of genetics to complete strangers. One day, however, I am totally going to teach them how to use teamwork to score free drinks.
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In summary, while raising a child who captures attention for her beauty can be both a blessing and a challenge, it’s crucial to maintain balance among siblings, instilling confidence and self-worth in each of them.