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I Will Not Be Ashamed of My C-Sections
The internet has a peculiar way of encouraging people to express the most outrageous opinions, often without a hint of understanding the complexities involved. A single comment on a friend’s social media post can spiral into a barrage of judgments and unwarranted shame.
But here’s my stance: I refuse to accept that shame.
With my upcoming baby, I will undergo a scheduled C-section, just like I did with my first child. And you know what? That doesn’t make me any less of a loving mother. Some women choose scheduled C-sections for various reasons, and while it’s true that the C-section rates are high and we could improve support for vaginal deliveries, the reasons behind their choices are not your concern.
My Experience
Let me share my experience, which may shed some light on this matter.
When I was pregnant with my first child, we presented a birth plan to my doctor during our 35-week appointment. It included walking around the hospital, warm showers, and minimal intervention. My doctor was fully supportive until an ultrasound revealed that my son, Liam, was not only breech but also “transverse,” with his bottom wedged by my left hip, his head near my right ribs, and his feet up by his head. It was clear he wasn’t coming out the traditional way.
I attempted everything I could think of to help him turn, including lying on an ironing board with my head down and my legs in the air, using a bag of frozen peas on his head in hopes of coaxing him to move. But he was firmly stuck.
I’ll never forget the moment during the ultrasound when my doctor’s face shifted from attentive to concerned. After a lengthy pause, she quietly said, “I don’t think you’re going to get the delivery you hoped for; we’ll need to schedule a C-section.” Zach and I felt a wave of relief, knowing that our baby was safe despite the circumstances. Our immediate reaction was, “Oh, is THAT all?”
The process of that C-section felt like a scene out of an action movie—two nurses practically climbed onto the operating table to help extract my very stuck baby boy.
But, dear internet, you judge without knowing. When you claim that my doctor is taking the easy way out, you don’t see the struggle and complexity behind that surgery. You don’t hear how, when Zach asked the doctor what would have happened to Liam and me in earlier times, she replied, “In those days, both mother and baby would have likely died in labor.” All you see is “scheduled C-section,” and you jump to conclusions.
My Second Experience
When I went into labor with my second child, Mia, at 29 weeks, it was a whirlwind of hospital visits and bedrest. After my water broke at 36 weeks, I initially had the support of my medical team to try for a vaginal birth after C-section (VBAC). Yet, when Mia began showing signs of distress, my OB recommended a C-section, and I agreed.
I realized that if I were to have another baby, a C-section was inevitable, and I have come to terms with that. After two C-sections—one with a horizontal incision and another with a vertical one—I believe that risking complications from a VBAC is unwise. I have two wonderful kids who need their mother here, and a little girl on the way who simply wants to arrive safely. I don’t think she cares about the method, just that she gets the love and care she deserves.
So, internet, I reject your shame. Your opinions are not welcome here. If it weren’t for that scheduled C-section, I wouldn’t even be here to nurture my children, as I was already in active labor when they prepped me for surgery with Liam.
We can never truly know anyone’s reasons for choosing a C-section, and it’s none of our business. The only fitting response is to say, “What matters is that both mom and baby are happy and healthy.” Then offer a smile and a heartfelt congratulations.
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In summary, let’s focus on celebrating the joy of motherhood without the burden of judgment.