One day, my 13-year-old daughter, Lily, came to me with an intriguing proposition. “If you give me $100, I’ll cover all my expenses for the entire school year.” She had taken inspiration from her cousin, who is quite the financial planner.
Curious, I asked, “What does ‘everything’ entail?” My husband chimed in with a supportive, “Have her write a proposal.” Lily eagerly grabbed a pen, her mind racing with dollar signs.
Initially, I hesitated at the thought of giving away a lump sum of $100. However, it quickly dawned on me that her idea could actually benefit us both. At 13, Lily is keen on asserting her independence; she prefers making her own choices about her bedtimes, wardrobe, and even her hair. This $100 could serve as a stepping stone toward that independence.
Lily’s proposal was ambitious: it covered clothing, shoes, snacks, entertainment, and gifts for her friends. I was skeptical—there was no way $100 could stretch that far. Yet, she remained confident and thrust a pen into my hand, prompting me to sign.
September Purchases
September brought her first purchases:
- $20 on school supplies, including a set of vibrant ballpoint pens
- A $5 shirt from a trendy store
- Two lip glosses for $7
- A $30 pair of wedge shoes
I wish I could say I kept my opinions to myself about the shoes, but when I gasped at the price, Lily shot me a look of irritation. She reminded me that it was her money, and I needed to back off. So, I promised to hold my tongue. Just thirty minutes later, after a moment of regret, she decided to return the shoes.
September felt like a honeymoon phase; Lily felt rich and free as she spent her allowance. She enjoyed some candy bars, a discounted pair of jeans, and even rewarded her siblings for small favors. But by October 1st, she fished out a cozy, stylish blue coat for $40. That was the turning point.
By October 2nd, she was broke. Three days later, with worry etched on her face, she suggested, “Maybe we should revisit my budget.” I smiled, knowing the agreement we made was firm. From that moment, she took charge. While I dropped her younger siblings off somewhere, she was quick to request babysitting opportunities. She even started asking for payment for chores around the house.
Learning and Growing
Determined to earn extra cash, she distributed flyers in our neighborhood and began planning ahead for Christmas, a weekend dance, and spring track shoes. She began to save every penny, picking up loose change and playing the piano more often for the money Grandma would give her for each completed book. She even accepted less-than-ideal babysitting gigs.
This experience turned out to be a valuable lesson for both of us. I love shopping for my kids, but after giving Lily her allowance, I resisted the urge to step in and buy what she might need. I did, however, buy her a Chapstick one day, to which she exclaimed, “Thanks, Mom!” with a joyful hug.
Over the course of a month, I witnessed Lily manage her money more wisely. Instead of begging for clothing, she embraced her independence and, unexpectedly, expressed deeper gratitude for the items I bought her.
Interestingly, her three younger siblings have now clamored for their own $100 allowances. Rather than feeling overwhelmed, I smiled at the opportunity for more spending money.
Tips for Parents
For parents considering a similar allowance system, here are some tips:
- Clearly define expectations, like who pays for what (having kids use their own money for fun extras often works well).
- Collaborate with your child to create lists of wants and needs, discussing what belongs on each list.
- Help them devise a personal budget and document it.
- Sign the agreement together.
- Maintain a simple ledger or spreadsheet to track money in and money out.
- Resist the urge to bail them out!
While Lily hasn’t yet taken me up on my offer to pay her for weeding or shoveling, I’m keeping my mouth shut. I trust that when she really wants something, she’ll come knocking for work. My mother used to say chores were a way to build self-esteem, a concept I couldn’t grasp at 14. But now, I see that same empowerment on Lily’s face when she works hard for something she truly desires. It’s a joy that equates to happiness.
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Summary
Lily’s $100 allowance experiment taught both her and her mom valuable lessons about budgeting, independence, and gratitude. The experience transformed her spending habits while also encouraging her siblings to seek similar opportunities. By setting clear expectations and allowing children to manage their own finances, parents can foster a sense of responsibility and empowerment.