10 Reasons I Disliked Breastfeeding

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I struggled with breastfeeding. From the moment my son latched on—painfully, I might add—until the day I made the switch to formula 57 long days later, I found every feeding to be a challenge. It felt like a significant part of my early motherhood experience was overshadowed by this struggle.

In today’s world, breastfeeding often seems like a measure of maternal success. While there’s understanding for mothers who try but cannot, those of us who opt for formula sometimes feel like we’re painted as the villains. Ironically, I found that my joy in motherhood blossomed only after I stopped forcing what felt so unnatural. Once I made that change, I began truly enjoying those quiet moments rocking him to sleep, marveling at his soft breathing, and admiring his long eyelashes as he gazed up at me.

So, why did I find breastfeeding so difficult? Here are my top ten reasons:

1. It Consumed My Life: Breastfeeding felt like a full-time job. With feedings every two hours, each lasting an hour, I barely had time for anything else.
2. I Felt Unattractive: I had hoped the changes to my body would make me feel empowered, but instead, I felt like a dairy cow—leaky and uncomfortable.
3. The Pain Was Unbearable: The sensation of being painfully tugged at was far from enjoyable. It was not the experience I had envisioned.
4. My Body Was Still Not Mine: After nine months of pregnancy, I longed to reclaim my body, but breastfeeding meant I was still merely a food source for my baby.
5. Pumping Was a Hassle: Do I really need to elaborate on that?
6. Uncertainty About Feeding: I often worried about how much my son was actually consuming. Was he getting enough? Was he just sucking air? I never knew.
7. Hormonal Roller Coaster: My emotions were all over the place, akin to PMS on steroids.
8. Feeling Isolated: Even with a supportive partner, I felt the weight of responsibility as the sole provider of nourishment for my baby. The pressure was overwhelming.
9. Self-Consciousness: I admired women who could breastfeed anywhere, but I felt the need to hide away whenever company visited, which only made me feel lonelier during those early days of motherhood.
10. Guilt: Each feeding session left me second-guessing myself. Why wasn’t I connecting with my baby? Why didn’t I love this experience? It took time for me to realize that not excelling at breastfeeding didn’t make me a bad mother. I find joy in other aspects of motherhood, and how I choose to nourish my child doesn’t define my entire journey.

It’s important to recognize that every mother’s experience is unique, and choosing how to feed your baby is a personal decision that reflects your circumstances and preferences.

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Summary

Breastfeeding can be a challenging experience for many mothers, often filled with feelings of guilt, pain, and isolation. Each mother’s journey is unique, and it’s essential to understand that choosing formula does not diminish one’s role as a loving parent.