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Understanding Judgment in Parenting
I notice you over there, shaking your head as my son has a spirited discussion with me in a public space. I see your disapproving expressions and eye rolls when his behavior doesn’t align with societal norms. I watch you tell your child to steer clear of mine, believing him to be a troublesome kid, a disrespectful kid.
But my son doesn’t even see you. He’s too engaged in his own world to care about others’ opinions, while I’m keenly aware of your judgment. Do you think I’m oblivious to your gaze? Do you assume that I love my child any less than you love yours simply because he is unique? Do you believe that your life is superior to ours because you don’t face the same challenges we do?
It’s incredibly difficult for me to remain quiet when I see you passing judgment on my child. I often feel the urge to confront you right then and there, to shout, “I see you! I see how you’re judging us!” Yet, unlike my son, I hold back. I’d rather he never notices your disdain. He’s blissfully happy being himself, unaware that some people think he falls short in any way. I wish to preserve that innocence for as long as I can.
Everyone carries some form of struggle; perfection is merely a myth. Perhaps your shortcoming is the tendency to judge others.
There’s so much about my child that you overlook. You don’t know that he loves me unconditionally, that he fiercely protects those close to him, and he would be heartbroken to learn your actions upset me. You’re not aware that he excels academically, achieving great grades at school. Sure, he can be frustrating at times, but that doesn’t lessen my love for him. You miss the humor in his unique outlook on life, which often leaves me laughing until I’m in tears. He experiences emotions deeply, both joy and sadness.
No, you don’t see any of that because you choose not to. You focus only on his loud voice, his distractions, and his emotional responses. Because of this, you label him as a bad child, unworthy of your time or attention.
Guess what? You’re not worthy of mine either.
He is honest, genuine, and doesn’t judge others. He embodies empathy and compassion and strives to be the best version of himself, without wasting time looking down on anyone. He embraces life and every experience that comes his way. Don’t you wish you could do the same?
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In Summary
Let’s remember that everyone has their own battles, and it’s crucial to approach others with empathy rather than judgment.