Recently, I shared a selfie on my blog while heading to the pool with my kids, captioning it, “Off to the pool! Fingers crossed this dad bod trend is still in because I’m going shirtless!” If you haven’t heard of it, the “Dad Bod” became a viral sensation when a college student named Sarah wrote an article titled “Why Girls Love the Dad Bod.” She argued that many women prefer a physique that strikes a balance between casual indulgence and fitness rather than the ultra-chiseled types. It took off like wildfire, allowing men to feel more at ease about their appearances, while leaving women pondering the concept of a “Mom Bod.”
Just after posting my selfie, a follower commented, “I wish the Mom Bod was recognized too.” Ironically, I was parked in a lot at Target, with my three kids eagerly waiting for their swim, while my wife, Amy, deliberated over a new swimsuit because her old one didn’t fit quite right anymore. We had a bit of a debate before leaving the house, with me assuring her that she looked stunning in her suit. She, however, felt that the changes from motherhood had shifted her body in ways she didn’t appreciate.
Finally, Amy returned with two swimsuits instead of one, unsure which one to choose, as time was ticking. “You’ll look incredible in both,” I reassured her.
When she emerged from the changing room in a sleek black one-piece, looking both strong and beautiful with our toddler, Ella, nestled on her hip, I was taken aback. Here was the woman I had committed my life to, who had supported me through thick and thin, and who gracefully raised our children. Yet, as she walked towards me, I could sense her uncertainty about her appearance.
“You look fantastic,” I told her. She offered a half-smile, leaving me unsure if she believed me or if she was simply struggling with her self-image.
It was then that I took off my shirt for the first time in years, feeling a new sense of confidence after shedding 25 pounds through calorie counting. Although I still fell within the overweight category according to BMI standards, as a father of three, I thought maybe I could take a dip without a shirt this time.
After about an hour, Amy snapped a photo of me playing with Ella. Upon seeing the picture, I felt the urge to delete it, thinking I looked out of shape. When she asked why I deleted it, I responded, “I looked fat.”
She countered, “You looked sexy.” Suddenly, the roles reversed: she was trying to boost my confidence about my Dad Bod, while I had been attempting to uplift her moments before.
But what really is the Dad Bod? It’s a cultural construct, a concept born from the internet’s whims. The irony is that neither Amy nor I fully accept each other’s compliments because we both grapple with our self-esteem. Media depictions of attractiveness often set unrealistic standards. Trends come and go, whether it’s the Dad Bod, Mom Bod, or something else entirely, and I often feel like I fall short. I can only imagine Amy feels similarly.
The truth, however, is that I find Amy’s strength and dedication to our family utterly breathtaking. This is what I consider the real Mom Bod. If only there was a way to capture her love for our children, her commitment as a full-time mom and part-time student, and all the sacrifices she makes for our family in a photo—she would grace the cover of every magazine, because that is the true essence of beauty.
A flat stomach or perfect curves may look appealing on the outside, but what truly captivates me is the complete package. After ten years of marriage, my admiration for Amy goes far beyond her physical appearance; it is rooted in her unwavering dedication to our family, her support for me, and her relentless ambition in all she pursues.
As we left the pool, I wrapped my arms around her next to the passenger side of the van and said, “You were the most beautiful woman at the pool today.”
She smiled and replied, “To you.”
“That’s all that matters,” I said, and we shared a kiss.
In a world so fixated on appearances, let’s focus on what truly matters—the love, dedication, and strength behind our bodies.
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Summary:
The article reflects on the societal perceptions of body image, particularly the contrasting standards of the “Dad Bod” and the absence of a similarly celebrated “Mom Bod.” Through personal anecdotes, the author illustrates the struggle for self-acceptance in both partners, emphasizing that true beauty lies in dedication and love rather than mere physical appearance.