Despite what many might think, I was overjoyed when my doctor announced that a third little girl would be joining our family. Growing up with two sisters, I was eager for my three daughters to share in the unique blend of excitement and chaos that comes with being part of an all-girl household.
We already had all the necessary girl gear, which suited my obsession with household logistics perfectly. We had even picked out a name for our imaginary son, “Alex,” who would have looked adorable in a little pink gingham dress on his way home from the hospital. But let’s move on from our fictional son and dive into what I’ve learned about raising daughters:
1. Girls Can Be Just as Gross as Boys.
When I’m around my nephews, there’s an endless display of bodily functions—farts, burps, and the occasional bathroom incident. It’s expected. But when my daughter, adorned with bows in her hair, lets out a seven-second fart at the dinner table, it’s a different story. My oldest has even mastered farting on command, leading to a memorable incident involving a change of underwear. My husband couldn’t contain his laughter as she exclaimed, “Whoopsie! Guess I gambled and lost!”
So forgive me if I don’t rush to the bathroom when my three-year-old waddles out with her ruffled underwear around her ankles, shouting, “Hey everyone! Check out my monster turd!” I still believe in keeping some things mysterious.
2. The Daily Outfit Battle.
Dressing three little girls is like solving a riddle that changes by the minute, all while a clock is ticking. I’ve given up trying to influence their clothing choices. My role is to ensure that they’re adequately covered and not smelling like a restroom. “You chose this cute dress, and I bought it because you liked it. Now wear it,” I remind them, only to hear complaints about how itchy it is.
And just when I think they’ve settled on an outfit, they’ll change it again before breakfast, after breakfast, as I beg them to put on their shoes, and even in the middle of the night if they want to test a new look for school.
3. Glitter is Pure Evil.
Glitter should be treated like a hazardous substance. It’s seductive and, once it enters your home, it multiplies and spreads until every surface is covered. What seems like a harmless headband can result in you showing up to a meeting with a sparkly mustache. The more you try to clean it up, the worse it gets. Any item with glitter should be disposed of immediately.
4. Hair Management is a Challenge.
Hair care is a major undertaking. I can’t remember to take my Valium in time for the post-bath detangling process. I’ve barely mastered the ponytail when a friend introduced me to a YouTube channel called “Cute Girls Hairstyles.” Simple, they said. Easy, they said. But when I tried to French braid my daughter’s hair, it was as if I was trying to build a rocket ship.
After a disastrous attempt that left my daughter screaming and me questioning my sanity, I realized that the more elaborate styles would have to wait until she’s unconscious.
5. Body Image Matters.
The future of your daughter’s body image rests on your shoulders. Just recently, my daughter asked if her dress would make her look beautiful to her friends. I had to navigate that tricky question without coming off as a hypocrite. I told her that true friends care more about who you are than what you wear.
6. Emotional Warfare.
Boys let their emotions fly, but girls harbor them deep inside and unleash them strategically. When my nephews argue, they might brawl and move on. My daughters, however, plot revenge in their own unique ways. I vividly remember a fight with my sister that escalated over a whipped cream incident, leading to a dramatic twist of revenge that involved my dessert.
7. Fancy Dress-Up Shows.
One evening, after dinner, my daughters decided to put on a “dance show.” We assumed they’d change into their dance attire, but when they came down, they looked like they were ready for a nightclub. They had donned every sparkly piece they could find and attempted to strut their stuff in my high heels. My husband and I were left speechless.
8. The Joy of Being a Mom.
At the end of the day, despite the chaos, it’s incredibly fun. Doing girly activities like nails, dance recitals, and fairy houses is a blast. You might think boys can join in too, and you’re right. I encourage everyone to host a stuffed animal wedding or dress up in old prom dresses—it’s all about making memories.
I know a time will come when my daughters will prefer to keep their distance from me, but until then, I’ll treasure these moments. After all, I’m a girl too, and I remember how it was to be little.
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In summary, raising daughters is a colorful journey filled with laughter, chaos, and unforgettable moments. From outfit battles to glitter disasters, every experience shapes their future in unique ways.