The discourse surrounding Lori Gottlieb’s 2008 article “Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” in The Atlantic has persisted for years, morphing into a repository of outdated beliefs and sexist remarks. Comments have predictably veered into misogyny, with critiques like, “Just admit she’s a lesbian,” and an ongoing dialogue about how women tend to overestimate their value. Take, for instance, a comment by MikeNorton who states, “In my experience, many women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to men. They often perceive themselves as more attractive than they truly are.” As if women should have no say in their own value!
Then there’s unfortunate Tom, who is struggling in the dating scene because the women he is interested in are “7s or 8s out of 10, not 9s or 10s.” At 43, he’s looking for a lighter-skinned partner aged 28-40, but claims he hasn’t found an intellectually stimulating match. Instead, he blames women for their unrealistic expectations.
Regarding a past relationship, he remarks, “Women have a really skewed sense of reality. She’s not the attractive blonde she once was, and she should compromise more if she wants to get married.” What ensues is an avalanche of dating advice directed at Tom, ranging from suggestions to meet women at professional events to the idea of “negging,” a controversial pickup tactic.
Next, we meet Chris, who has become disheartened by his dating experiences. “WOMEN ARE STUPID!” he declares, noting that his last relationship ended due to a personal conflict that he attributes to his partner’s preferences. He shares that his frustration comes from women’s expectations regarding physical intimacy.
In a more nuanced take, Sarah, a woman who left a potential marriage behind because she couldn’t settle, states, “I refuse to compromise my happiness for a partner who doesn’t share my passions. I’d rather remain single than live beneath a ceiling lower than my own height.”
Responses to her assertion from men like MikeNorton suggest that having high standards equates to superiority, which in turn justifies their loneliness.
The conversation continues to shift, with some users promoting dubious solutions like voodoo love spells, while others lament the perceived decline of women due to the “false freedom of feminism.”
However, not all stories are negative; one user recounts how her 81-year-old mother found love online, challenging the so-called “statistics” that suggest it’s too late for older women.
As this discussion unfolds, it becomes evident that women often face scrutiny regardless of their choices. If they choose to have children alone, they are deemed selfish; if they settle for a partner, they are labeled deceitful. The dual narrative that women are both overvaluing themselves and unworthy of commitment is a harsh paradox.
In summary, the ongoing debate about women’s roles in relationships reveals pervasive societal attitudes that often leave women feeling judged no matter their choices. For more insights on this and related topics, check out this blog post. Another excellent resource for understanding more about pregnancy can be found at Healthline. If you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom is a trusted authority in this area.