I’m done. I’m officially out of the race.
I know, I know. We often tell our kids that quitting isn’t the answer. When they decide to drop soccer after begging to join, we encourage them to see the season through. When they want to quit tae kwon do right after we’ve invested in the uniform, we insist they finish the session. But here I am, waving the white flag in the arena of competitive parenting. Honestly, I’ve had my fill, and I doubt anyone will even notice my absence.
From the very beginning, I felt like I was trailing behind. I dealt with post-partum struggles, opted not to breastfeed, and let my kids cry it out – I even shed a few tears myself. I made choices that others would judge; my kids had whole milk before they turned a year old, we skipped baby sign language, and I fed them yogurt with sugar and the infamous fruit snacks (which, let’s face it, are toddler candy). My first child’s baby book is a chaotic mix of random dates, while my second son doesn’t even have one.
As my children have grown, it feels like I’ve only fallen further off the pace. Everyone else seems to have it all figured out, while I’m left feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Can I just take a break already? You might say competitive parenting doesn’t exist, and there’s no judgment involved. But honestly, it often feels like there’s an unwritten rulebook titled “How to Be the Perfect Parent” that I never received when I left the hospital, drained and anxious.
Here are just a few of the reasons I’ve decided to step back from this competitive parenting gig:
- Concerts and Events: When my oldest son had his preschool holiday concert, he showed up in a t-shirt featuring “Monkey Trouble” while everyone else was dressed to impress. But hey, he chose his outfit, so that counts for something, right?
- Mealtime Madness: Our dinners are often a rotation of mac & cheese (the neon orange kind), PB&J sandwiches, and pizza. Sure, we try to include baby carrots and strawberries, but those are hardly guaranteed.
- Fashion Dilemmas: If my husband comes home to find me not in pajamas or yoga pants, he wonders if he missed a special occasion. And getting my boys to wear anything other than t-shirts and running pants is like pulling teeth. Forget matching outfits or trendy accessories – we’re all about comfort here.
- Sports Enthusiasm: I cheer occasionally and clap, but mostly, I sit on the sidelines and watch. I don’t make signs or shout from the stands. Just getting my son to practice regularly feels like enough effort.
- Halloween Shenanigans: The internet is awash with adorable, handmade Halloween costumes, while my kids typically end up in last-minute, store-bought outfits. The second child is often stuck wearing his older brother’s costume from years past. I can take credit for the cute elephant costume only because it was a gift from Grandma.
- Birthday Treats: Forget about homemade gluten-free, vegan cakes. If I remember to bring treats (a big if), they’re usually sugary and store-bought. But the kids love them, so that’s a win, right?
- Arts and Crafts: While preschool art projects are delightful in theory, I can only keep so many glittery masterpieces. Most of them end up in the recycling bin, much to the delight of the recycling truck driver!
- School Involvement: I had grand ideas of volunteering in my son’s kindergarten class, but my Halloween party plans fell flat compared to other parents’ elaborate decorations. Clearly, I misjudged the competition.
- Family Outings: My idea of a fun outing includes trips to Target or brief bike rides. Kudos to the parents who manage museum trips and fancy restaurants – I’m just trying to survive with the occasional library visit!
- Playground Politics: While the playground is a great place for the kids to burn off energy, it often reminds me of high school cliques. I prefer to sit quietly on a bench, trying to catch my breath and maybe sneak a peek at my phone instead of engaging in small talk.
So there you have it: ten reasons why I’m bowing out of the competitive parenting scene. I’m simply worn out.
To those still in the game, keep it up! But to fellow weary parents like me, let’s take a moment together on this quiet bench. We can acknowledge our amazing kids and perhaps check our phones without the pressure to chat.
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In summary, I’ve chosen to step back from the competitive parenting race for my own sanity. There’s no shame in recognizing when we’ve reached our limits.