Before becoming mothers, many women have solid ideas about how they’ll navigate parenthood. They witness other moms wrestling with tantrums in grocery stores or tossing fries around restaurants and assure themselves they’ll never stoop to that level. Alternatively, they might hear tales of mothers giving birth in inflatable pools while juggling homeschooling and knitting, and they know without a doubt they’ll take a different path. Fast forward a couple of years, and with a husband and a baby on the way, you might find yourself ordering a home birth kit while your toddler throws a fit at the midwife’s office. Motherhood is a wild ride that pushes you into actions you never imagined and evokes feelings you didn’t know you had. Here are 15 common experiences that define this journey:
- You’ll find yourself maneuvering one of those ridiculous car-shaped shopping carts at the grocery store, kids spilling out of the windows, as you awkwardly navigate the aisles. Despite your disdain for it, you’ll feel a pang of annoyance when all the carts are already taken.
- You will inevitably miss a meeting, a parent-teacher conference, or even a coffee date with your great aunt, and you’ll use your baby as an excuse. Forget that you used to roll your eyes at coworkers who did the same; now it’s your turn to embrace the handy excuse!
- You might leave the house for a job interview, only to discover too late that you’ve been sporting stickers on your rear end the entire time.
- You’ll find yourself catching your child’s vomit—possibly with your bare hands—at an inconvenient location, like on an airplane or during church. Trust me, nothing beats the embarrassment of ruining a swimming pool day for a crowd of children.
- You will go to great lengths to prevent a car nap. But if you fail and your toddler dozes off, you’ll probably just stay in the car, reading, while hoping for a peaceful moment.
- You’ll end up injuring yourself trying to prove to your child that you can still keep up with them—whether it’s pogo-sticking, skateboarding, or attempting a jungle gym climb, only to realize you might just end up in a dramatic fall.
- Every mom has her nemesis— that one mom who seems to push every single one of your buttons. She’s everywhere: at your kid’s soccer practice, in your playgroup, and even at your favorite salon. You’ll find her advice maddening, yet you’re stuck with her.
- Prepare to hear your own mother’s voice come out of your mouth. You’ll catch yourself saying things like, “Turn off the lights!” and somehow feel okay about it.
- You’ll start showing random strangers pictures of your children, often without them asking for it.
- You might find yourself in an unspoken “my child is better than yours” contest with another mom at your Mommy & Me class. You never thought you’d stoop to this level, but here you are.
- You’ll start referring to yourself as “Mommy” in the third person, saying things like, “Mommy said it’s time for bed.” You’ll even wonder if your coworkers should start calling you Mommy too, since that’s what you respond to most often.
- On Mother’s Day, you’ll feel guilty for wanting some solitude, even though you secretly wish for a lazy morning without a half-burnt breakfast in bed.
- You’ll feel ancient and decidedly uncool the first time you embarrass your middle schooler in public by doing something that used to impress him.
- When cleaning out the toy box, you may stumble upon your child’s beloved lovey, missing an eye and smelling distinctly of cheese. You’ll find yourself clutching it and tearing up.
- You’ll utter those words that once annoyed you as a new mom, telling another overwhelmed mother to “cherish these moments; they go by so quickly.” You’ll wish you had taken that advice more seriously as time flies by.
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Summary:
Motherhood is a journey filled with unexpected experiences and milestones. From navigating absurd shopping carts to catching vomit in public, every mom faces unique challenges. With moments that make you feel like your own mother and the inevitability of comparing your child to others, it’s a rollercoaster ride that changes your perspective on life. Embrace these rites of passage, laugh at the chaos, and cherish every fleeting moment.