I adore my kids as much as any parent, but there are days when I genuinely feel unprepared for this role. Today is one of those days.
I’m exhausted from the endless discussions about where those elusive shoes have disappeared to, the importance of brushing teeth, managing screen time, and why cheating in Candy Land or squishing bugs isn’t acceptable.
Packing a nutritious lunch and sorting out snacks feels like an insurmountable task, and I dread the thought of checking that homework has actually made it into the backpack. The idea of making multiple trips to the car, arms loaded with children’s gear, or racing off to carpool, karate class, or the grocery store for the umpteenth time this week is overwhelming.
I’m tired of pretending to have answers to questions I can’t solve. I don’t want to sort laundry and feel guilty when I find a forgotten load still sitting in the washer from last week. I’m done stepping on one more Lego piece.
I’m not in the mood for spit-ups, making or cleaning bottles, changing diapers, or scraping mysterious green goo from under my nails. The fussing, whining, and crying are wearing me down.
I wish I could say yes more often, cultivate patience, and tone down the yelling. I long to hear my own thoughts amid the chaos.
I know I should treasure my children, especially after years of struggling with secondary infertility. I understand that these moments are fleeting. I entered motherhood knowing it wouldn’t always be easy, but I still hoped for more good days than tough ones.
Most days, I enjoy being a mom. I relish the daily routines and the adorable, curious faces that look up at me. But today? Today, I just want a moment of peace.
I yearn for quiet, a chance to recharge, and to claim the TV remote for myself, followed by a rejuvenating nap. I want a blissful shower without the worry of my crawling infant finding trouble in my bathroom. I want to look in the mirror and reassure the tired woman staring back, “You’re doing your best, and it’s okay to have tough days.”
And above all, I want to believe that.
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Summary:
This article expresses the struggles and challenges of motherhood while emphasizing the love and joy that also comes with it. The author reflects on feelings of inadequacy and the desire for peace amidst the chaos of parenting, ultimately reminding herself that tough days are part of the journey.