Have you ever been seated next to someone on a flight who completely ruins your travel experience? For me, it was a gentleman I affectionately dubbed “Mr. Cologne.” Now, I can’t say what specific fragrance he was wearing, and honestly, it doesn’t matter. Any scent that permeates the air and can be detected by those not snuggled up to your neck shouldn’t even be called a fragrance.
At first, I considered how to approach Mr. Cologne about his overpowering scent. I pondered the right words but soon realized there are no perfect phrases for such a situation. Anyone who enters a packed, enclosed space and decides to impose their olfactory preferences on those nearby must be somewhat delusional. Perhaps they’re quietly misguided, fooling even their closest friends. However, let’s be clear: those who drench themselves in cologne are likely a bit controlling, if not downright sadistic!
As I sat there, fixated on the back of Mr. Cologne’s head, I tried to understand his thought process. Did he wake up that morning and think, “I’m going to make this flight memorable for everyone around me?” I even contemplated creating T-shirts that read: “COLOGNE RUINS MY PERSONAL BREATHING SPACE” or “IF YOU’RE WEARING COLOGNE, PLEASE KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.” A straightforward design like “COLOGNE” in a circle with a line through it might also do the trick.
The fragrance industry is a massive business, raking in nearly a billion dollars in 2013, according to the NPD Group. Shockingly, 72% of adult males who wear cologne started before they turned 18. While it may take a while to banish cologne entirely (not to be confused with Outlaw Cologne), perhaps the solution lies in educating young people about fragrance etiquette.
On the bright side, about 37% of American men forgo cologne altogether. If you’re among this group, please share this knowledge with any friends or family members who indulge in excessive fragrance. After all, they may be giving many folks headaches and, on some level, are possibly exhibiting sociopathic tendencies. And just to clarify, I want to be near you on a plane, share an elevator, or stroll by you on a sunny day!
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In summary, finding yourself next to a heavy cologne user on a plane can be a frustrating experience. While the fragrance industry thrives, awareness and education about fragrance etiquette could help make air travel more enjoyable for everyone. If you’re looking for guidance on home insemination, consider visiting Cryobaby or consult ACOG for helpful resources.