4 Mom Judging Behaviors That Need to Fade Away, Like Yesterday

True story: I went through labor without any pain relief. I breastfed my daughter until she was 25 months old, and as much as I adored that time, I was definitely ready to reclaim my body (and so was my partner). Our family is fully vaccinated, including our dog, who is not a fan of needles. I try to limit sugary treats for my child, although sometimes she collides with big objects (like cars) for a laugh. She’s been sleeping in her own room since she was just three weeks old. I carry her around quite a bit. Sometimes she cries when I drop her off at daycare, and I rush out to make it to my job on time. Oh, and she absolutely loves hot dogs. And ketchup—lots and lots of ketchup.

Feel like judging me yet?

Let’s be real: moms have a habit of judging each other. We might not openly admit it, but it happens all the time—I do it, and you probably do too. However, some of these judgmental tendencies really need to come to an end. Here are four that should stop immediately:

1. How We Give Birth

During my pregnancy, I knew an epidural was out of the question; the risks outweighed the temporary pain. My mother, however, underwent an emergency c-section at 32 weeks when I wasn’t receiving enough nourishment. Even decades later, she still hears that she “didn’t really experience childbirth” because of her surgery. Let’s be clear: if a baby enters this world through you, that’s childbirth, no matter how it happens. And if you adopt, your journey to motherhood is just as valid.

2. How We Feed Our Kids

Before you intervene, wait until you witness me force-feeding my toddler a burger. I breastfed when it worked for us, and I know many healthy adults who were raised on formula. Not everyone can afford organic foods or the latest in baby products. I would have gone crazy trying to prepare homemade baby food, while others find joy in it. It’s all about what works for your family.

3. When We Start Our Kids in School or Daycare

“Isn’t it a bit early to send a two-year-old to preschool full-time?” Well, my husband and I both work, and our families can’t take care of our child all day. Shouldn’t preschool be an option? It doesn’t bother me if you choose to keep your child at home—sometimes, I wish I could do the same! But every family makes financial and personal decisions based on their circumstances, and calling our choices “crazy” isn’t fair.

4. How We Manage Our Kids in Public

Honestly, I consider myself a pretty relaxed parent. I like to let my daughter explore while I keep a close watch from afar. In public spaces, though, it often feels like everyone is waiting for me to react to every little stumble or tear. I learned to navigate risks as a kid, and I want my daughter to do the same. Unless a child is truly in danger, let’s not scrutinize how other mothers handle their kids in public.

We all have our own quirks and preferences, and it’s challenging not to judge, especially when we want to believe we’re making the best choices for our kids. But remember, we’re all just trying to figure it out together, and what works for one family may seem odd to another.

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Summary:

Moms often judge each other based on various parenting choices, from childbirth methods to feeding habits, daycare decisions, and public behavior. It’s essential to recognize that every family is unique, and what works for one may not for another. We should embrace our differences rather than criticize them.